Today's story comes from dear friends of ours who lapped us, not once, but twice in this adoption journey. They have an amazing family and I'm excited to share their story with you today!
Enjoy!
I am really glad Lindsy asked me to write about this
particular topic. You see, provision
(both financial and having a “normal” family) is the main hold up for men who
are considering adoption. I speak to men
all the time who say, “I’d love to adopt but…”
If I am being honest, men are programmed both in church (and this is a
major sin in the US church) and out of church that we HAVE to possess all the
financial answers for our family both now and the next 50 years. Why do we neglect all the examples in
Scripture of God simply providing for us?
Why do we forget all the times He has shown up in our lives or in the
lives of others around us?
I hope this
post can challenge some misconceptions we (especially men) seem to carry around
as burdens. I simply want to tell our
story about how God weaved Himself into it and provided especially when I did
not deserve it.
“A means to an end.”
That is how I viewed adoption in the fall of 2009 as Natalie and I were
battling through 18 months of infertility.
We desperately wanted to be parents.
How foolish of me to have gone through 30 years of life and not see the
obvious inseparable tie between the Gospel and adoption. I mean it is NOT hidden deep in Scripture
like some code from a Dan Brown book. We
see many references to it in black and white and simply gloss over them because
they are contrary to the way the western church lives. Because He is much smarter than I, God used
our infertility to completely transform my life.
When we decided to adopt, Natalie was still in medical
school (racking up large amounts of debt without collecting a paycheck) and I
had an entry-level sales job. We were in
no position to pay for an adoption.
Thankfully, I had wise people around me encouraging us to take the first
step. It was a life-changing decision.
Soon after we sent our application into our agency, we were
visiting with our close friends, Jason and Emily Fox (he married us and she was
the maid-of-honor at our wedding). During
our conversation, I blurted out, “Hey guys.
How in the world are we going to pay for this?” In a stroke of genius, Emily suggested we
paint ornaments with an Ethiopian theme and sell them. If you have met Natalie and I, you know that
neither of us would be called artistic.
We did not have a better idea at the time and so we painted a prototype
of the ornament and posted it on our blog and on Facebook. By the end of the next day, we had orders for
over 250 ornaments. When all was said
and done, we sold over 650 ornaments in those six weeks. My wrist hurts thinking about painting all
those ornaments.
Near Christmas, a friend I had not spoken to for
several years contacted me. They saw on
Facebook about our adoption and the ornaments.
They asked if we could meet. It
was great to catch up with this good friend and I was leaving, they handed me
an envelope and said, “This stays between us.”
I agreed and walked to the car. I
opened it when safely in the car and discovered a $5,000 check! I remember sitting in my car, crying (which I
never did before having children), begging God to forgive me of the doubt which
permeated the lens in which I viewed the entire world and my relationship with
Him. I thanked Him for choosing to bless
me and be patient in teaching me that He provides.
I made a vow shortly after this that I would never doubt God
and His provision for us. People around
me have no doubt heard me say, “God funds what He favors” and it is true. Hear me out though. I am not perfect in this. I raise money professionally and I have
seasons of doubt even though God continues to provide. Doubt is a beast that is hard to fight back
when it rears its ugly head.
Of the $25,000 it took to bring Tedi home, Natalie and I
contributed approximately $2,000 (which was about all we had at the time). To sit back and reflect on the way our
community and friends rallied around us to redeem our son is so humbling. It still gives me goose bumps when I relive
this and remember each person who gave freely.
When we decided to adopt again, I told Natalie two things:
1) We would NEVER question if God would provide and 2) We needed to carry more
of the burden financially. I made the
decision to cash out an IRA (much to the chagrin of Dave Ramsey and our
financial adviser) and we contributed over $5,000 to bring Chernet home.
We were again blessed by many of the same
people. I contend that I have been
blessed with the best friends anyone could have. Not one person close to us ever questioned
why we were adopting or why we needed help financially. Our friends, family, church family simply
filled the gap for us.
In closing, I hope that you see a few themes in our story
that are applicable to all of us going down this road:
1) God is right there with us even in our doubting
and times of soul searching. He taught
this to me during the darkness of infertility.
I am probably the only guy in the world who actually thanks God for
infertility.
2)
The
adoption process, while taxing and extremely difficult, is a time of
recalibration and God drawing you closer to Him. Embrace the tension that resides there.
3)
God will use your closest friends, family
members, not-so-close friends, and complete strangers to bless your
adoption. Be OK with that blessing. Accept it.
Repay it.
~JT Henderson
Twitter: @jthenderson76
JT is a Friend, Servant, Connector, Pastor, married to a
woman I don’t deserve. Adoptive
Dad. Adopted by God. Described by ABC News as the “Mouthpiece of
Middle America.”
No comments:
Post a Comment