This video has been floating around Facebook for the last week or so. If you've already seen it you can thank me for giving you another opportunity. If you haven't seen it yet you are in for a treat! This sweet family is inspiring.
Tonight, during this season of Advent, join me in praying for the millions of kids around the world who do not know the safety, security and love of a family and for families who have lost their children much too soon.
Come Lord Jesus.
Showing posts with label orphans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label orphans. Show all posts
Friday, December 21, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
spilling the beans... so that you'll be on your knees
I knew one day this post would come. I've started it in my head a dozen different times. It's never made it to paper or been pecked out on my keyboard. Until tonight.
But tonight is not how I wanted this to go. Tonight is hard. Tonight I am typing through tears as I wonder where two little boys are. I wonder if they are safe. Have they eaten? Has his diaper been changed? Who is with them? What are they doing? Has anyone told them they are loved and how precious they are?
On March 22nd, I met two little boys who have forever changed me. It wasn't something I shared here for reasons that are now irrelevant (or maybe not... but I'll deal with that later) but we are a "Host Family" for the Safe Families for Children program.
We learned about Safe Families last fall after Ethiopia denied our case. We knew it would take another year to bring home a kiddo from the DRC. We knew our home and hearts were ready for more kids. So we signed up.
As I've said before it is an amazing program. We adore the model. But 10% of the time, it doesn't work out. Reunification is not achieved.
We joked. "Watch, our first placement.. we'll be the 10%. We are the 10% people."
We went through 30 hours of training and asked our home study agency and placement agency if it was ok. In that order.
Then nothing happened. The Louisville chapter was brand new and they didn't expect any placements until this summer.
But mid March I got an email. There were two kids who might need a host family. Would we be interested? I called William. I thought he would say no. He has always said we will grow our family one kid at a time. I thought he would extend this policy to hosting as well.
He didn't. He said "Well, that's why we signed up."
A few days went by and we waited. The mother of the children, who we found out were two and four year old boys, had some reservations about the program. She wanted to meet us.
(Side note: I have never wanted to look more normal in my life.)
We knew very little about the situation, only that mom had a mentor in her life who would be coming to the meeting along with our Safe Families case coach. We met at a pizza place. We came up with a transition plan.
We played at the park. They visited our house. They spent the night. And then they moved in.
One day there will be another post about the joys and trials of caring for two children who are not your own. The unbelievably funny things that four kids under the age of five talk about in the back of the van. What bedtime is like for kids who have never had a bedtime.
But this is not that post.
We realized pretty early on that our placement was not typical. That what Safe Families looks for in their families was not the make up of this family. So we did something we had never before discussed.
We became state certified foster parents.
Being approved to adopt internationally and being an approved host family are not the same thing as being able to care for kids in the care of the state. We felt like one day these boys may end up in the states care. If that happened they would not have been able to live with us. Unless we became state certified.
Then, what felt like suddenly, we were told that they would be transitioning back to mom. We had reservations about this but had no tangible reason to give. This is the reason we signed up for Safe Families, to preserve a family, but somehow it didn't feel like that. It felt wrong. It wasn't time.
What has happened since then, I'm not sure I can put into words. Everything I thought about caring for orphans has been challenged. (Everything except we are commanded to do it.)
Everything I thought about adoption and birth parents and orphans in the US and attachment parenting and protecting your "own" family and redefining family... it was all tossed in the air and fell back down onto the Cross.
I have begged God to show me the next step. Just the next one, not the end. Just "what now?"
He still hasn't done that. We are still waiting. He is still writing this story.
Tonight, I do not know where those boys are. My heart is breaking for them because they probably don't know where they are either.
The situation has come to a critical point. We believe what happens next will reveal our next step. What happens next will change the trajectory of all of our lives.
We need you to be on your knees. These boys need you to be on your knees. Pray for them. Pray for their protection. Pray for their hearts. Pray that they are bold and brave. Pray that the reality of the situation is seen by those who need to see it.
These boys belong to the Lord. He knows exactly where they are. They are in His hands. We are resting in this truth tonight.
But tonight is not how I wanted this to go. Tonight is hard. Tonight I am typing through tears as I wonder where two little boys are. I wonder if they are safe. Have they eaten? Has his diaper been changed? Who is with them? What are they doing? Has anyone told them they are loved and how precious they are?
On March 22nd, I met two little boys who have forever changed me. It wasn't something I shared here for reasons that are now irrelevant (or maybe not... but I'll deal with that later) but we are a "Host Family" for the Safe Families for Children program.
We learned about Safe Families last fall after Ethiopia denied our case. We knew it would take another year to bring home a kiddo from the DRC. We knew our home and hearts were ready for more kids. So we signed up.
As I've said before it is an amazing program. We adore the model. But 10% of the time, it doesn't work out. Reunification is not achieved.
We joked. "Watch, our first placement.. we'll be the 10%. We are the 10% people."
We went through 30 hours of training and asked our home study agency and placement agency if it was ok. In that order.
Then nothing happened. The Louisville chapter was brand new and they didn't expect any placements until this summer.
But mid March I got an email. There were two kids who might need a host family. Would we be interested? I called William. I thought he would say no. He has always said we will grow our family one kid at a time. I thought he would extend this policy to hosting as well.
He didn't. He said "Well, that's why we signed up."
A few days went by and we waited. The mother of the children, who we found out were two and four year old boys, had some reservations about the program. She wanted to meet us.
(Side note: I have never wanted to look more normal in my life.)
We knew very little about the situation, only that mom had a mentor in her life who would be coming to the meeting along with our Safe Families case coach. We met at a pizza place. We came up with a transition plan.
We played at the park. They visited our house. They spent the night. And then they moved in.
One day there will be another post about the joys and trials of caring for two children who are not your own. The unbelievably funny things that four kids under the age of five talk about in the back of the van. What bedtime is like for kids who have never had a bedtime.
But this is not that post.
We realized pretty early on that our placement was not typical. That what Safe Families looks for in their families was not the make up of this family. So we did something we had never before discussed.
We became state certified foster parents.
Being approved to adopt internationally and being an approved host family are not the same thing as being able to care for kids in the care of the state. We felt like one day these boys may end up in the states care. If that happened they would not have been able to live with us. Unless we became state certified.
Then, what felt like suddenly, we were told that they would be transitioning back to mom. We had reservations about this but had no tangible reason to give. This is the reason we signed up for Safe Families, to preserve a family, but somehow it didn't feel like that. It felt wrong. It wasn't time.
What has happened since then, I'm not sure I can put into words. Everything I thought about caring for orphans has been challenged. (Everything except we are commanded to do it.)
Everything I thought about adoption and birth parents and orphans in the US and attachment parenting and protecting your "own" family and redefining family... it was all tossed in the air and fell back down onto the Cross.
I have begged God to show me the next step. Just the next one, not the end. Just "what now?"
He still hasn't done that. We are still waiting. He is still writing this story.
Tonight, I do not know where those boys are. My heart is breaking for them because they probably don't know where they are either.
The situation has come to a critical point. We believe what happens next will reveal our next step. What happens next will change the trajectory of all of our lives.
We need you to be on your knees. These boys need you to be on your knees. Pray for them. Pray for their protection. Pray for their hearts. Pray that they are bold and brave. Pray that the reality of the situation is seen by those who need to see it.
These boys belong to the Lord. He knows exactly where they are. They are in His hands. We are resting in this truth tonight.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
i'm not the point
This week was a rough one. [WARNING: EMOTIONS ARE A'FLOWING SO THIS MAY BE A RAMBLE. YOU WERE WARNED.]
For starters, we've been waiting on ONE document to move forward with the DRC court process. We've been told for several weeks that we should have it "soon" and this week the communication changed to "this week". But the week is over, and we don't have it. We are discouraged to say the least.
A little closer to home we are struggling, let me stress that, WE ARE STRUGG-UH-LING, with a situation involving a couple little boys we love dearly. Reflecting the nature of God and focusing on how He is at work in the lives of others when we just don't see it is unbelievably difficult.
I know that I should reflect the grace and mercy that has so freely been given to me.
BUT.
IT.
IS.
HARD.
It is hard because it cannot come from me. It is not within me to give grace and mercy freely.
I keep asking myself "When do I get to stop?". Stop giving grace and start judging. Stop giving mercy and start dishing out ultimatums. When do I get to walk away from this messy situation that pulls apart my heart on a daily basis and go back to living life with my sweet simple family?
The answer: I don't.
Because Jesus never did. He never stopped pursuing the broken. He never stopped pursuing me.
Ironically, I was scheduled to speak to a group of teenagers on Friday about caring for orphans and why it is central to the gospel. When I sat down to put together my presentation ON THURSDAY NIGHT AT 10 PM, I was empty. I was exhausted. I was frustrated and I was heartbroken.
"Hey teenagers, want to feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest, stomped on and sucked dry? Sign up here! Orphan care for life!"
Since I couldn't get into a groove and focus on my presentation I decided toself medicate unwind by checking my blog roll and came across this post.
I knew immediately, these words were penned for me.
Who am I that I get to love these boys? Who am I that I get to witness grace and love and redemption in their lives?
I am not the point. Jesus is.
So I prayed and thanked God for giving me this trial that, were it up to me, I would have bailed on yesterday. Or three months ago. I thanked Him for allowing me to particpate in His work.
Then on Friday afternoon, just a couple hours before my talk with the teenagers, the "trial" drove me to tears. Again. For like the third time this week.
I just don't get it. I don't see His plan and purpose and can't figure out what I am supposed to "do". (Mistake #357 Lindsy. You are not supposed to "do" anything. Just be obedient.)
I drove to the warehouse where I would share our story with the teenagers, the biblical mandate they are responsible for and provide them with practical ideas to get started.
I pulled into my parking space, turned off my car and I prayed. I prayed for the boys and I prayed for the teenagers. I asked God that they would not see me but see Jesus. That they would not hear my words but His.
As I walked the teenagers through our journey I was reminded of all I have to be thankful for. That we get to participate in God's work. That we get to reflect His love and mercy to the fatherless. That I don't have to do it because He will.
I am not the point. Jesus is.
And then, after I shared with the teenagers, they packaged over 5,000 meals for orphans in Haiti. They danced. They sang. (Really, they had a blast!) They participated in God's work of caring for the fatherless and I was humbled to be a part of it.
Who am I that I get to participate in this?
For starters, we've been waiting on ONE document to move forward with the DRC court process. We've been told for several weeks that we should have it "soon" and this week the communication changed to "this week". But the week is over, and we don't have it. We are discouraged to say the least.
A little closer to home we are struggling, let me stress that, WE ARE STRUGG-UH-LING, with a situation involving a couple little boys we love dearly. Reflecting the nature of God and focusing on how He is at work in the lives of others when we just don't see it is unbelievably difficult.
I know that I should reflect the grace and mercy that has so freely been given to me.
BUT.
IT.
IS.
HARD.
It is hard because it cannot come from me. It is not within me to give grace and mercy freely.
I keep asking myself "When do I get to stop?". Stop giving grace and start judging. Stop giving mercy and start dishing out ultimatums. When do I get to walk away from this messy situation that pulls apart my heart on a daily basis and go back to living life with my sweet simple family?
The answer: I don't.
Because Jesus never did. He never stopped pursuing the broken. He never stopped pursuing me.
Ironically, I was scheduled to speak to a group of teenagers on Friday about caring for orphans and why it is central to the gospel. When I sat down to put together my presentation ON THURSDAY NIGHT AT 10 PM, I was empty. I was exhausted. I was frustrated and I was heartbroken.
"Hey teenagers, want to feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest, stomped on and sucked dry? Sign up here! Orphan care for life!"
Since I couldn't get into a groove and focus on my presentation I decided to
I knew immediately, these words were penned for me.
"Cultivate a thankful heart. When we give thanks, when we look around us and see what we've been given, how we get to participate in God's work, that we get to witness grace and love and redemption, it should floor us. Who are we that we get to do this? Who are we that God would use us in this way? It's the antidote to the soul rot of bitterness and self-righteousness.
We aren't the point.
Jesus is."
Who am I that I get to love these boys? Who am I that I get to witness grace and love and redemption in their lives?
I am not the point. Jesus is.
So I prayed and thanked God for giving me this trial that, were it up to me, I would have bailed on yesterday. Or three months ago. I thanked Him for allowing me to particpate in His work.
Then on Friday afternoon, just a couple hours before my talk with the teenagers, the "trial" drove me to tears. Again. For like the third time this week.
I just don't get it. I don't see His plan and purpose and can't figure out what I am supposed to "do". (Mistake #357 Lindsy. You are not supposed to "do" anything. Just be obedient.)
I drove to the warehouse where I would share our story with the teenagers, the biblical mandate they are responsible for and provide them with practical ideas to get started.
I pulled into my parking space, turned off my car and I prayed. I prayed for the boys and I prayed for the teenagers. I asked God that they would not see me but see Jesus. That they would not hear my words but His.
As I walked the teenagers through our journey I was reminded of all I have to be thankful for. That we get to participate in God's work. That we get to reflect His love and mercy to the fatherless. That I don't have to do it because He will.
I am not the point. Jesus is.
And then, after I shared with the teenagers, they packaged over 5,000 meals for orphans in Haiti. They danced. They sang. (Really, they had a blast!) They participated in God's work of caring for the fatherless and I was humbled to be a part of it.
Who am I that I get to participate in this?
Friday, May 25, 2012
Nothin's Gonna Hold Me Down
Who couldn't use a smile to start off this long weekend?
For your viewing pleasure...
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Impact Zambia
Hey there! I've been MIA for a while due to a new level of crazy in our house. I wish I could share all that is going on but... at this moment I cannot!
Sorry, don't you hate that? Remember as a kid "I have a secret!" "What?" "I'm not telling!"
Anyway...
A really fabulous organization that is near and dear to our hearts has an awesome opportunity right now. They have a generous donor who has committed to match every gift dollar for dollar UP TO $225,000! Isn't that amazing?!?
Wouldn't you like to double your money and sponsor one of these sweet kiddos? If you do, and you should, will you please include my name (first & last) when you join the Impact Zambia 100 team?
(Alright, there's also a little something for me in this. For every one of you who joins and enters my name, I'll be entered to win a trip to Orphan Summit VIII. Which is uh-mazing.)
***Impact Zambia Update: 30 commitments...4 days to go. Needing 70 more Impacters!
Sorry, don't you hate that? Remember as a kid "I have a secret!" "What?" "I'm not telling!"
Anyway...
A really fabulous organization that is near and dear to our hearts has an awesome opportunity right now. They have a generous donor who has committed to match every gift dollar for dollar UP TO $225,000! Isn't that amazing?!?
Wouldn't you like to double your money and sponsor one of these sweet kiddos? If you do, and you should, will you please include my name (first & last) when you join the Impact Zambia 100 team?
(Alright, there's also a little something for me in this. For every one of you who joins and enters my name, I'll be entered to win a trip to Orphan Summit VIII. Which is uh-mazing.)
***Impact Zambia Update: 30 commitments...4 days to go. Needing 70 more Impacters!
Impact children like Bwalya Bwayla & have your gift MATCHED!!
We have launched an Impact Zambia 100 campaign that will help build a high school for Bwalya Bwayla and other children in similar life situations. We are nearly 1/3 of the way there and have only 4 days left.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
encouragement and perspective
I've shared before that we have the most uh-mazing community. On. The. Planet. We've gotten all sorts of messages and phone calls and words of encouragement since loosing our referral last week. I want to share some of them here - I think they may be encouraging to some of you as well!
"I am praying for you today, for your heart, and for the
child(ren) out there whom God already knows need your family. I also thank Him
that He saw fit to allow this child to remain with a family who wanted and
loves him. Adoption and orphan care is complex and riddled with bittersweet
emotions, for both adoptees and their families. God uses the adoption process
and journey to sanctify us as much as He uses it to provide homes to the
children in need! Hugs to you!"
"After I
talked to you last week and got the update on the orphanage I just kept
thinking about the adoption path that God has had you on....all I could think
was about Esther. Why the heck are you guys in the Congo??? Well, obviously,
for such a time as this. Praise God that you have not turned a blind eye to the
horrible info that you found. Praise God that you and your friends were praying
for G to be safe and to get out of that place. It makes me Praise God for your
faithfulness to where He has brought you. I will continue to pray that G is
truly safe with his family."
"I heard about the kid you were trying to adopt. That sucks. But, it's kinda cool that because you were trying to adopt him, they found his family. How awesome would it be, if the next kid you try to adopt they find their family, and the next one and the next one? All because you are trying to adopt one kid."
That last note is from a dude:-) But yes, how awesome it would be indeed if we could pray home half a dozen kids. Including one who eventually ends up in our home!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
one less
As of Friday afternoon, there is now one less orphan in the world! Our little boy in the DRC had an uncle and sister who were looking for him. And they found him. And while we are saddened by the news that this little one will not be a part of our family, we are rejoicing that today he is with his family. We firmly believe that the best place for a child to be is with his birth family in his birth country. (If they are able to care for him.)
We are saddened by this news but not altogether surprised. The orphanage where this little one was living is bad, even for the poorest country in the world. There have been three investigations in the last five years; including a current one. We have prayed daily that God would protect "G" and get him out of there. And He did.
As additional orphanage allegations came out in the past few weeks, I've said many times "It will be a miracle if we can get this little boy home." What I meant by that was our home. What God intended for him was a different home. But I believe our prayers were not unheard or unanswered. They were just answered by an all-knowing God who sees the finished picture when all I've got is a single puzzle piece.
I don't want to come across as holy and happy and fake - this is hard. Another setback in a nearly three year journey makes me want to gouge my eyes out with the nearest sharp object. As Matt Chandler said in his sermon two weeks ago - "If there were an easy button I'd be smacking that mug." I WANT easy.
But it is VERY CLEAR that God is trying to teach us something not easy. (Likely many things or we are just really slow and it is taking a few years.) But sometimes I just don't want to learn the lesson. I don't want to relate to and encourage people who have gone through marriage crap or cancer or more cancer or being told they are unfit to parent or... But God does. He has me here, right here, because this is where He wants me. Jesus says in John 15:16 "You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit."
Friends, I would not have chosen "here" on my own. I would have chosen easy. I would not have chosen to produce fruit that relates well to suffering. But that is my fruit. And I would not trade it. I know that God has planted me here with design and purpose. I'm just not altogether sure what that design and purpose is quite yet.
Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families...
We are saddened by this news but not altogether surprised. The orphanage where this little one was living is bad, even for the poorest country in the world. There have been three investigations in the last five years; including a current one. We have prayed daily that God would protect "G" and get him out of there. And He did.
As additional orphanage allegations came out in the past few weeks, I've said many times "It will be a miracle if we can get this little boy home." What I meant by that was our home. What God intended for him was a different home. But I believe our prayers were not unheard or unanswered. They were just answered by an all-knowing God who sees the finished picture when all I've got is a single puzzle piece.
I don't want to come across as holy and happy and fake - this is hard. Another setback in a nearly three year journey makes me want to gouge my eyes out with the nearest sharp object. As Matt Chandler said in his sermon two weeks ago - "If there were an easy button I'd be smacking that mug." I WANT easy.
But it is VERY CLEAR that God is trying to teach us something not easy. (Likely many things or we are just really slow and it is taking a few years.) But sometimes I just don't want to learn the lesson. I don't want to relate to and encourage people who have gone through marriage crap or cancer or more cancer or being told they are unfit to parent or... But God does. He has me here, right here, because this is where He wants me. Jesus says in John 15:16 "You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit."
Friends, I would not have chosen "here" on my own. I would have chosen easy. I would not have chosen to produce fruit that relates well to suffering. But that is my fruit. And I would not trade it. I know that God has planted me here with design and purpose. I'm just not altogether sure what that design and purpose is quite yet.
Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families...
Friday, October 21, 2011
Adoption Update: A Detour Through Ethiopia
I'm not sure how to start this post. It's one of those posts that as "prospective adoptive parents", you never want to write. (I hate that term, by the way - are you any less "real" parents than a pregnant couple? You wouldn't refer to a pregnant women as a "prospective mom" would you?)
Yesterday, Ethiopia denied our case.
We cannot appeal.
Our son is not in Ethiopia.
As I write those words tears swell up in my eyes. How could we have been so sure and been so wrong? I do not know. Sometimes when I ponder that question I become frightened by it.
I do know that one day it will all make sense, that God is faithful and that we are being obedient to His calling on our lives. But oh how frightening that can be some days. Trusting in faith can feel both scary and secure.
I'm thankful that William has been a rock during this difficult day and a half. When I called him to tell him the news, I explained that our agency suggested we consider the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) program. Without hesitation he said "Call the Congo Lady." (there is a program director for each country, so the Congo program director is, in our house, "the Congo Lady") His conviction over our direction is so strong that the 2 1/2 year $10,000 detour through Ethiopia didn't phase him a bit. I however, wondered around the house aimlessly in my pajamas all afternoon.
My mind has raced with thoughts. I've emailed practically everyone I know in the adoption world to get their advice and feedback. I've googled. I've called. I've questioned. I've prayed, but not nearly enough.
I've thought about the fact that cancer exists because we live in a sinful fallen world. And orphans exist because we live in a sinful fallen world. And these two symptoms of sin are colliding in our world in such a perplexing way.
My heart breaks for the children in Ethiopia, who will wait on the streets or in orphanages for longer - possibly forever - because cancer survivors or parents with heart conditions or a history of depression or kidney problems, are deemed unfit to parent them.
It makes me angry.
And then I remember that nothing comes into my life that has not passed through the hands of my Father in heaven. And that He loves the children in Ethiopia far more than I ever could. And it drives me to my knees.
So, as William advised, I called the Congo Lady. She gave me the basic lowdown on the DRC program. In some ways, it sounds very similar to the way the Ethiopia program did 4 years ago when we picked it. They have fairly reasonable restrictions and none of them have to do with being a cancer survivor. Last night I stayed up way to late reading about the DRC, agencies that have programs in that country, reading blogs of people who have/are adopting from there... Today I called the Congo lady back and drilled her pretty good. Since I've been in this international adoption world for a while now and my emotions are a little, shall we say, raw right now, I asked her the hard questions and then I questioned her answers. She passed the drilling.
I still can't believe that after this long I am researching agencies and countries. But. Here. We. Are.
At this point, we are 90% sure that we will transfer to the DRC program. Once we decide, I will do a post on the program and the differences between it and Ethiopia. There are many.
One of my hesitations, is that I feel a little guilty about switching countries so quickly. And that before yesterday I knew practically NOTHING about the DRC. I knew nothing about the country, the kids, where they come from and why, what they have experienced, their culture, their language and religion - I didn't even know the capital. Sure I can learn, but I feel almost like we are using them, and their poverty and third world situation, to get a kid. And while we love our son already, wherever he is, I feel guilty about moving on so quickly. About not spending more time grieving over the loss of Ethiopia in our lives.
I've even wondered, and a few people have likened our experience to having a miscarriage, did we have a son in Ethiopia 3 years ago or 2 years ago or 1 year ago? Did we? I'm not sure that's a healthy path for my mind to take and I don't want to make light of what experiencing a miscarriage must feel like. But I feel a loss and feel the need to grieve it. Whether there was ever a living breathing Ethiopian boy meant for us I will never know.
Yesterday, Ethiopia denied our case.
We cannot appeal.
Our son is not in Ethiopia.
As I write those words tears swell up in my eyes. How could we have been so sure and been so wrong? I do not know. Sometimes when I ponder that question I become frightened by it.
I do know that one day it will all make sense, that God is faithful and that we are being obedient to His calling on our lives. But oh how frightening that can be some days. Trusting in faith can feel both scary and secure.
I'm thankful that William has been a rock during this difficult day and a half. When I called him to tell him the news, I explained that our agency suggested we consider the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) program. Without hesitation he said "Call the Congo Lady." (there is a program director for each country, so the Congo program director is, in our house, "the Congo Lady") His conviction over our direction is so strong that the 2 1/2 year $10,000 detour through Ethiopia didn't phase him a bit. I however, wondered around the house aimlessly in my pajamas all afternoon.
My mind has raced with thoughts. I've emailed practically everyone I know in the adoption world to get their advice and feedback. I've googled. I've called. I've questioned. I've prayed, but not nearly enough.
I've thought about the fact that cancer exists because we live in a sinful fallen world. And orphans exist because we live in a sinful fallen world. And these two symptoms of sin are colliding in our world in such a perplexing way.
My heart breaks for the children in Ethiopia, who will wait on the streets or in orphanages for longer - possibly forever - because cancer survivors or parents with heart conditions or a history of depression or kidney problems, are deemed unfit to parent them.
It makes me angry.
And then I remember that nothing comes into my life that has not passed through the hands of my Father in heaven. And that He loves the children in Ethiopia far more than I ever could. And it drives me to my knees.
So, as William advised, I called the Congo Lady. She gave me the basic lowdown on the DRC program. In some ways, it sounds very similar to the way the Ethiopia program did 4 years ago when we picked it. They have fairly reasonable restrictions and none of them have to do with being a cancer survivor. Last night I stayed up way to late reading about the DRC, agencies that have programs in that country, reading blogs of people who have/are adopting from there... Today I called the Congo lady back and drilled her pretty good. Since I've been in this international adoption world for a while now and my emotions are a little, shall we say, raw right now, I asked her the hard questions and then I questioned her answers. She passed the drilling.
I still can't believe that after this long I am researching agencies and countries. But. Here. We. Are.
At this point, we are 90% sure that we will transfer to the DRC program. Once we decide, I will do a post on the program and the differences between it and Ethiopia. There are many.
One of my hesitations, is that I feel a little guilty about switching countries so quickly. And that before yesterday I knew practically NOTHING about the DRC. I knew nothing about the country, the kids, where they come from and why, what they have experienced, their culture, their language and religion - I didn't even know the capital. Sure I can learn, but I feel almost like we are using them, and their poverty and third world situation, to get a kid. And while we love our son already, wherever he is, I feel guilty about moving on so quickly. About not spending more time grieving over the loss of Ethiopia in our lives.
I've even wondered, and a few people have likened our experience to having a miscarriage, did we have a son in Ethiopia 3 years ago or 2 years ago or 1 year ago? Did we? I'm not sure that's a healthy path for my mind to take and I don't want to make light of what experiencing a miscarriage must feel like. But I feel a loss and feel the need to grieve it. Whether there was ever a living breathing Ethiopian boy meant for us I will never know.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Sponsorships 101
Perhaps the easiest and quickest way to make a difference in the life of an orphan is to sponsor one. Sponsorships provide life-saving financial support to children and families in need. It works like this: You are matched with a child and given a picture and a brief bit of info on them. Here's what we received on our guy:
You make a monthly contribution towards the care of that child. Most sponsorships range from $30 - $45 per month. The sponsorship funds cover basic needs - food, clothing, shelter, schooling, etc. Without sponsorships, most organizations would not be able to care for the number of children that they do. A couple of our favorite orgs that offer sponsorships are Harvester's Reaching the Nations (HRTN) and Compassion International.
HRTN has two orphanages in the Republic of South Sudan (shout out to the world's newest nation!!). One in Yei and the other in Terekeka. They have over 180 children in their care and few of them are fully sponsored. Check them out here!
Compassion has children in need of sponsorships all over the world. They have a really cool search feature on their website. You can search for kids by country, gender, birth date and more. I know many families who sponsor kids that are the same gender and age as their own kids. This is a really great way to teach your kids about orphan care!
Moses "sponsors" a 6 year old boy named Kenyi. We pray for Kenyi, write letters and color pictures for him. We talk about his life. Moses knows that Kenyi doesn't have a mommy or a papa and that we help take care of him. He knows that Kenyi doesn't have lots of toys. (Since this has been explained Moses has also been praying for his toys at night. I think he might be a little nervous.) I don't want our family to appear holier than thou so I must admit that we have also pulled the "What do you think Kenyi is eating for dinner?" card when Moses has balked at his dinner plate. Just keepin' it real with you folks.
I really want to challenge you; if you are not sponsoring a child to pray about what is standing in your way. You really don't need to pray about whether or not you should be caring for orphans. Gods word is clear on that one. You should. (and maybe you are in some other way)
What are you clinging to that He is calling you to give up for the one of the "least of these"?
A couple latte's each week?
Your data package?
Another pair of shoes?
Pray for God to reveal what is standing in your way and to help you respond in faithful obedience. You will be blessed beyond belief. And so will an orphan.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
statistics make us numb (see video to the right)
I think, for the most part, this is true. Statistics make us numb. We feel powerless, helpless against such massive numbers. In the context of orphan care, REALLY massive numbers are thrown around. Since I'm a numbers geek, I want to know them and understand them and share them. I know, you can't wait.
The really exciting thing about statistics, is that they are not outside the control of God. He laughs in the face of statistics. Just ask the person who was cured of cancer or the couple who was told they could never conceive (and now have five bio kids). Statistics are nothing to the God of the universe. Mark Twain also had something to say about statistics: "'There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
There are some confusing numbers out there with regards to "orphans". According to UNICEF there are 163 million "orphans" worldwide. Most of us, when we think of the term "orphan", think of children without parents. But that is not the case. UNICEF and other agencies "adopted the broader definition of orphan in the mid-1990s as the AIDS pandemic began leading to the death of millions of parents worldwide, leaving an ever increasing number of children growing up without one or more parents. So the terminology of a ‘single orphan’ – the loss of one parent – and a ‘double orphan’ – the loss of both parents – was born to convey this growing crisis."
So the number of vulnerable children worldwide is estimated to be 163 million. Some of these children have two living parents but are highly vulnerable because the parents are not able to afford their care, abuse them, neglect them, are very ill... There are as many reasons why children are vulnerable as there are vulnerable children. It's complex. I can hardly begin to grasp it.
Of those 163 million vulnerable children, 55.3 million are without a mother and 126 million are without a father. Only 18.3 million are "double orphans". I say only because, if we just looked at the 163, it would be our assumption that homes are needed for all of those children, but that is not the case. 90% of those children have homes and living family members. Their entire family needs support and love and prayer. (and sponsorships - more on that next time)
While we're on the subject of statistics, I want to bring it home to Kentucky. According to Focus on the Family, in 2009, there were 2,048 children in foster care waiting for forever families. There were also, according to Focus on the Family in 2009, 6,859 churches in the state of Kentucky. WOW. 2,048 kids ready for homes and 6,859 churches. Really WOW.
To quote Dan Cruver from Together for Adoption "Can you think of a better visible testimony to a watching world of what God has done for us in Christ than caring for orphans in their need and helplessness?"
I can't. How about you?
Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. - Isaiah 1:17
The really exciting thing about statistics, is that they are not outside the control of God. He laughs in the face of statistics. Just ask the person who was cured of cancer or the couple who was told they could never conceive (and now have five bio kids). Statistics are nothing to the God of the universe. Mark Twain also had something to say about statistics: "'There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
There are some confusing numbers out there with regards to "orphans". According to UNICEF there are 163 million "orphans" worldwide. Most of us, when we think of the term "orphan", think of children without parents. But that is not the case. UNICEF and other agencies "adopted the broader definition of orphan in the mid-1990s as the AIDS pandemic began leading to the death of millions of parents worldwide, leaving an ever increasing number of children growing up without one or more parents. So the terminology of a ‘single orphan’ – the loss of one parent – and a ‘double orphan’ – the loss of both parents – was born to convey this growing crisis."
So the number of vulnerable children worldwide is estimated to be 163 million. Some of these children have two living parents but are highly vulnerable because the parents are not able to afford their care, abuse them, neglect them, are very ill... There are as many reasons why children are vulnerable as there are vulnerable children. It's complex. I can hardly begin to grasp it.
Of those 163 million vulnerable children, 55.3 million are without a mother and 126 million are without a father. Only 18.3 million are "double orphans". I say only because, if we just looked at the 163, it would be our assumption that homes are needed for all of those children, but that is not the case. 90% of those children have homes and living family members. Their entire family needs support and love and prayer. (and sponsorships - more on that next time)
While we're on the subject of statistics, I want to bring it home to Kentucky. According to Focus on the Family, in 2009, there were 2,048 children in foster care waiting for forever families. There were also, according to Focus on the Family in 2009, 6,859 churches in the state of Kentucky. WOW. 2,048 kids ready for homes and 6,859 churches. Really WOW.
To quote Dan Cruver from Together for Adoption "Can you think of a better visible testimony to a watching world of what God has done for us in Christ than caring for orphans in their need and helplessness?"
I can't. How about you?
Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. - Isaiah 1:17
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Refocus
I have thought about the blog quite a bit these past few months. Although thinking about it hasn't led to any telepathic posts... Aside from the fact that life moves at light speed, I've struggled with the question "What is our blog about?" More importantly, what are we about? (it ain't cancer folks!) We've been talking and praying and searching and reading. What are we, the Wallace's, about?
There are lots of things to blog about - meal planning, being frugal, being "green", film making, parenthood, marriage... We read blogs about all of these things. But what is the word from the Wallace's?
It's slowly become clear, that we are about orphans. We're about orphans not because it's trendy or heroic or because they're cute. We're about orphans because our God is about orphans.We're about orphans because he has given us a heart and a mandate to love and care for them.
He tells us so in James chapter 1 verse 27 - "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Pure and undefiled. TRUE. True religion is to care for orphans. Not super religion or hero religion or varsity religion. True religion. It is a central, integral, essential part of being a Christ follower to care for orphans and widows.
So what does that mean? What does it look like when you don't feel called to sell everything you have,move to Africa and start an orphanage? We are slowly figuring it out.
For us, the first step was to start the adoption process, so one focus of this blog will continue to be adoption. We want to be and provide resources for families interested in adoptions and foster care. We want to encourage them and pray for them and support them in any way we can.
BUT, there is so much more to James 1:27 than adoption. We are just starting to unpack it. And as we do, I will be blogging about it. I promise. My hope and prayer in redirecting the focus of our blog is that the Holy Spirit would stir in your hearts the same conviction and desire to care for orphans that He has stirred in ours.
And when I say we, I mean WE. For me, I have never felt surer of anything in my life than I do that this is my purpose for His kingdom. And when William and I came up with the Top Five Focuses of our family, my sweet husband listed orphans as #3 after God (#1) and our family (#2).
Moses is the most vocal about his love for the orphans. (anyone surprised? Moses, vocal?) Since taking a trip to Target to buy needed items for his "friends" at Harvester's Reaching the Nations (HRTN), packing them up and taking them to the post office, the kid cannot stop talking about his friends in Sudan. We've also started sponsoring a boy from HRTN and Moses talks about him. Daily. He also asks at least once a day "When are we going to Sudan?"
Meadow has yet to show us in what way she will care for the orphans but some of the focuses here will be how to care for orphans as a family and raising kiddos with a heart for orphans.
I'll also be blogging about the theology of orphan care, suffering and God's sovereignty, organizations that are doing orphan care well (and how you can support them) and life and how we are living it.
We'll also be including resources for the different areas of "orphan care" - adoption and funding, foster care, human trafficking, orphan sponsorships and more.
I'm hopefull and encouraged by what the Holy Spirit will do through all of you who will be following along.
There are lots of things to blog about - meal planning, being frugal, being "green", film making, parenthood, marriage... We read blogs about all of these things. But what is the word from the Wallace's?
It's slowly become clear, that we are about orphans. We're about orphans not because it's trendy or heroic or because they're cute. We're about orphans because our God is about orphans.We're about orphans because he has given us a heart and a mandate to love and care for them.
He tells us so in James chapter 1 verse 27 - "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Pure and undefiled. TRUE. True religion is to care for orphans. Not super religion or hero religion or varsity religion. True religion. It is a central, integral, essential part of being a Christ follower to care for orphans and widows.
So what does that mean? What does it look like when you don't feel called to sell everything you have,move to Africa and start an orphanage? We are slowly figuring it out.
For us, the first step was to start the adoption process, so one focus of this blog will continue to be adoption. We want to be and provide resources for families interested in adoptions and foster care. We want to encourage them and pray for them and support them in any way we can.
BUT, there is so much more to James 1:27 than adoption. We are just starting to unpack it. And as we do, I will be blogging about it. I promise. My hope and prayer in redirecting the focus of our blog is that the Holy Spirit would stir in your hearts the same conviction and desire to care for orphans that He has stirred in ours.
And when I say we, I mean WE. For me, I have never felt surer of anything in my life than I do that this is my purpose for His kingdom. And when William and I came up with the Top Five Focuses of our family, my sweet husband listed orphans as #3 after God (#1) and our family (#2).
Moses is the most vocal about his love for the orphans. (anyone surprised? Moses, vocal?) Since taking a trip to Target to buy needed items for his "friends" at Harvester's Reaching the Nations (HRTN), packing them up and taking them to the post office, the kid cannot stop talking about his friends in Sudan. We've also started sponsoring a boy from HRTN and Moses talks about him. Daily. He also asks at least once a day "When are we going to Sudan?"
Meadow has yet to show us in what way she will care for the orphans but some of the focuses here will be how to care for orphans as a family and raising kiddos with a heart for orphans.
I'll also be blogging about the theology of orphan care, suffering and God's sovereignty, organizations that are doing orphan care well (and how you can support them) and life and how we are living it.
We'll also be including resources for the different areas of "orphan care" - adoption and funding, foster care, human trafficking, orphan sponsorships and more.
I'm hopefull and encouraged by what the Holy Spirit will do through all of you who will be following along.
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