The Battle Is Not Yours

 

And he said, “Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's. Tomorrow go down against them. Behold, they will come up by the ascent of Ziz. You will find them at the end of the valley, east of the wilderness of Jeruel. You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”

~2 Chronicles 20:15-17 (emphasis added)

 

 

These are verses I read and prayed numerous times during William's battle with cancer. Even now, when he gets his CT/PET scan every four - six months, (also known as the "mortality reminder") I cling to "Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's... Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you.”

 

 

Last week one of our friends and a fierce man of God, Jeff, was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. My heart immediately went out to Jeff and also his wife Sherry. The ground comes out from underneath even the most Godly person upon hearing the "c" word.

 

 

The evening before Jeff had his CT/PET scan (that would provide diagnostic information an MRI cannot) I texted him the above verse. His official diagnoses came later that day and a huge weight fell over everyone who knows their family. Prayer chains were started, meal planning began, fundraisers were being brainstormed and Jeff received over 70 visitors and 500 emails the first day! God's people are surrounding this family and holding them up when it is hard to just. keep. going.

 

 

I've been praying 2 Chronicles 20:15-17 this past week and realized, it doesn't apply just to cancer. (Duh.) Each of us has a
battle. Each of us goes to bed with a tomorrow we wish would never come. Each of us is up against a horde.

 

 

I don't know what your battle is. I know many of you are battling for children and the horde you are against is Satan disguised as piles of paperwork and adoption fees and governments near and far. Maybe your battle is cancer. Maybe your battle is a hostile work environment. Or a hostile marriage. Maybe your battle is a grown child who has gone astray. Or a broken friendship.

 

I DO KNOW THIS: The battle is not yours. It is God's.

 

 

I know there are amazing stories, particularly in the OT, of God winning battles on behalf of His people. But this mama is no theologian. I can't retell those stories accurately let alone eloquently. (I should really work on that. Seriously.)

 

 

What I can do is point you to scripture that is clear about Who is fighting your battle.

 

 

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.

~Psalm 18:1-3

 

 

Who is this King of glory?
The Lord, strong and mighty,
the Lord, mighty in battle!

~Psalm 24:8

 

 

He redeems my soul in safety
from the battle that I wage,
for many are arrayed against me.

~Psalm 55:18

 

 

I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted,
and will execute justice for the needy.
Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name;
the upright shall dwell in your presence.

~Psalm 140:12 - 13

 

 

Blessed be the Lord, my rock,
who trains my hands for war,
and my fingers for battle;
he is my steadfast love and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield and he in whom I take refuge,
who subdues peoples under me.

~Psalm 144:1 - 2

 

 

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

~Exodus 14:14

 

The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt...

~Deuteronomy 1:30

 

You shall not fear them,

for it is the Lord your God who fights for you.

~Deuteronomy 3:22

 

for the Lord your God is he who goes with you

to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.

~Deuteronomy 20:4

 

For thus the Lord said to me,
“As a lion or a young lion growls over his prey,
and when a band of shepherds is called out against him
he is not terrified by their shouting
or daunted at their noise,
so the Lord of hosts will come down
to fight on Mount Zion and on its hill.
Like birds hovering, so the Lord of hosts
will protect Jerusalem;
he will protect and deliver it;
he will spare and rescue it.”

~Isaiah 31:4 - 5

 

 They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you,

for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you.”

~Jeremiah 1:19

 

Whew! That was a lot of scripture! It was therapeutic for me to read and I felt led to share all of them here, knowing many of you are tired and weary as well. I hope you are refreshed by these words describing our God:

 

///refuge///strong///mighty///safety///

///executes justice///deliverer///protector///

 

Praise God Deuteronomy 20 verse 4 says he is with us and fights for us TO GIVE US THE VICTORY. BUT, let us not forget Who the victory belongs to:

 

The horse is made ready for the day of battle,
but the victory belongs to the Lord.

~Proverbs 21:31 (emphasis added)

 

Ready your horse, draw your sword, and remember when the battle is won, all victory and praise and honor and glory belong to Him who fought the battle for you.

 

Would you please join me in praying for healing for my friend Jeff? He has fought tirelessly on behalf of the fatherless in our community for more than a decade. We know God is able and believe he is willing to heal Jeff completely so he may continue the good work God has laid before him. Thank you!!!

 

And if you need continued encouragement (let's be real, who doesn't?) jump over here to win all FIVE of these awesome books!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yay!

As most of you know William's scans were clear and we are celebrating 6 months of being cancer free! Praise God!

Today was a glorious day of letting out the deep breath if felt as though we had been holding for the last month.

The details of the follow up appointment are: clear scans!! (next time William would like to be sedated for the PET/CT scan:-), the doctor examined William's arm and did not feel anything that would be causing it to be tender but suggested he have ultrasounds in between scans for "peace of mind", which we welcome. SO, that means in two months he'll have an ultrasound of the area where the cancerous lymph node was just to keep a closer eye on things. The next PET/CT scan will be in September.

We are doing two weeks of the Gerson Therapy per the "maintenance schedule" (I should say I am preparing and William is consuming the Gerson Therapy), and day one was a breeze.

Thank you everyone for your prayers and encouragement! We don't really know why William hasn't been feeling well these past few weeks but I am confident that God answered our prayers. We are so humbled by your love for us.

Scans

Tomorrow is William's first follow up PET/CT scan. (we re-rescheduled from the 15th back to the tomorrow, the 22nd) I wish I could say that we are feeling optimistic, trusting in God's sovereignty, and making the most of this reminder of our mortality. But we are not. William is not feeling well and hasn't for a few weeks. He is scared. I am scared. I am bitter and irritable and tired of "bad" news. I am not trusting in the God of the universe who I know spoke everything into being and knew before the beginning of time every trial we would face in our momentary lives.

Somewhere in the midst of my step-mom's brain surgery, diagnoses, doctors appointments, second opinion, passing and planning for her "party", William's own health has deteriorated and he spent most of today in his recliner. He has random yet suspicious symptoms of what seem at this moment to all point to more bad news.

At times, I find comfort in the promises of God, that those who suffer "for a little while" (1 Peter 1:6) in this life will experience the "steadfast love" (Psalms 63:3) of the Lord forever. FOREVER.

Why is it that, at other times, the promise of God's love forever is not enough to comfort me? Not enough to keep me from tears or bitterness or being short with those I love? The truth is, it's because I am trying not to do or be those things in my own strength, and I cannot even choose to breath in my own strength. I'm not relying on the God who commands me to "rejoice insofar as you share in Christ's sufferings." (1 Peter 4:13)

My flesh wants me to try harder, be kinder, stronger, better. But I cannot. I can only surrender myself to Him who created me, sustains me and will one day call me home to partake in the fullness of His joy.

Bullet Point Style

It's been a while. That seems to be a theme around here. Since it has "been a while" I thought I would just do a quick bullet point update of the last few months. I hope that more blogging will be in our future. There's a lot going on in this head of mine right now...

December - William arrived home safely from Sudan! We were so happy to see him we arrived at the airport 4 hours early! Oh wait, that was because no one told us the flight was delayed... They have already cut a trailer for the new film - check it out! William is one talented man.

The kids had a blast at Christmas and I am ashamed to say that I must not have taken any pictures once they woke up. But I have this one of our rockin' tree.

January - I turned 30. It's the new 20.

February - Lindsy officially stays at home with the kiddos! An answered prayer we praise God for every day.

March - Our adoption will be further delayed. This may be a full post later but, basically, everything we have done since 2009 is or will be expiring, which we knew, sort of. It does not make sense for us to begin the process again until August, because if we started over this month like we planned, we'd have to redo it all again in August anyway. Frustrating. Confusing. Obedient to His calling. Come on August.

William's first follow up PET/CT scan is later this month. It was originally scheduled for the 22nd but we had it moved up to the 15th. He has a tender area under his arm where the lymph nodes were removed. Since this is an area we are supposed to be watching, we decided to go in earlier and one week earlier was the best they could do. Please pray that it is something silly, like an ingrown hair.

Back to February for just a moment, some of you may have heard that my step mom was diagnosed with brain cancer a couple weeks ago. This will be a full post in the coming weeks but please be in prayer for her and my family. More on that later.

Counting Down

Wow. It's been a while... It's pretty bad when you have to read your own blog to remember what your last post was about.

A lot of juicing has been going on since my last post. Bill, Williams dad, or as he likes to refer to himself, "The Real William Wallace", has been staying with us for a couple weeks and overall it has been a huge blessing. He goes to work with William during the week and prepares all of his juices. He washes all the dishes in the evening and juices on the weekends too! We're so blessed by him serving us in this way.

This is week 6 of the Gerson and we are all ready for it to be over. William is tired of the bland food and being a slave to "the schedule". We are both tired of being on virtual house arrest. This weekend he'll start to wean himself off of the therapy, decreasing enemas and juices in preparation for his trip to Sudan.

Ah yes, the trip to Sudan. A blog topic promise I have not fulfilled...

William and/or I, depending on our season of life, have been volunteering for Nadus Films since 2006.The mission of Nadus is to equip and empower the Southern Sudanese holistically, through the medium of film, with the focus of seeing this war-torn region rebuilt. We focus our rebuilding efforts on four areas: water, education, medical development, and church development. William has been to Sudan twice now, as the Director of Photography for the first Nadus film, "The New Sudan".

The upcoming trip is for the principal photography (that's fancy film speak for "shooting") of Nadus' newest film project "Grace Surpasses". William described this as his "dream film" when we were talking about it a couple weeks ago! I'm super excited that he is able to go and work on this project. (also envious:-) 

It was seeing the faces of the children in Sudan that sparked my passion for adoption. Speaking of adoption, that brings us to another promised topic. I'll have to come back to that one another time.

TO BE CONTINUED…

answered prayers

We are well into week three of the Gerson and I have an unexpected time of quietness so I thought I would do a quick update.
Last week, particularly last weekend, was pretty rough. Friday was our anniversary, we had child care all lined up and we never even made it out of the house. Williams routine is just that intense. Add a toddler, a 6 month old and three dogs... That brings us to answered prayer #1: help. We came to the very clear conclusion last week that we couldn't continue doing this with our current schedule. I used all of my FMLA and paid time off during my maternity leave so me taking time off right now is not an option.  William is taking 3 weeks to go to Sudan next month and will, Lord willing, be making two trips to Ethiopia next year to pick up our babe (I WILL do a post on our adoption soon) and doesn't want to take advantage of his boss' understanding and accomodating his trips to Africa. BUT, on Saturday William's Dad called and offered to come and stay with us until he is finished with the therapy! This is fantastic news and we are super excited. He will be going to work with William during the day, doing all of his juicing, and helping me prep in the morning and evenings. Yay!
Answer to prayer #2: cash. I had a really encouraging conversation with the director of our adoption agency, Arise for Children, on Monday.  Turns out she decided to reimburse us a fee we paid for the next step of our adoption, because we haven't actually completed that "step" yet. It will cover all of the medical bills and pay for William's crazy expensive 20 lbs of organic food each day for the rest of the therapy!
Sunday evening at church we were feeling better and it was so great to hear Todd teach from the book of Acts on Gods power to answer prayer. In between nursing Meadow and trying to keep her from squealing with delight, what stuck with me most from the sermon, is that God has the power to answer prayer and we should pray like we believe that he does. Amen to that.

Why and More What

So, it's been over a week since we last updated the blog.  It is not because we have not had plenty to share but rather we have been consumed by the Gerson Therapy.

Lindsy shared a bit about our routine last week and maybe a little TMI for some with the coffee enema info. This week I wanted to share the "why"...

The Gerson Therapy has been around since the 1920's.  You can read about Dr. Max Gerson and his daughter Charlotte if you Google them.  The therapy is well established and has healed 1,000's of cancer patients and patients suffering from diseases ranging from migraine headaches to diabetes.  I know that many people may not understand why we would chose to go this route, but historically The Gerson Therapy has healed more people with Melanoma than traditional western medicine, and without the long-term side effects.

The basics of the Gerson are:
Chronic illness is caused by a lack of nutrition and built up toxins that have accumulated in the body.  Because of a lack of nutrition in the modern diet, our filtering organs such as the liver and pancreas are not functioning at 100%.  This makes our bodies vulnerable to the toxins we are exposed to daily.  The diet is based largely on raw, organic vegetables combined with 13 glasses of fresh carrot, apple and green juice. The juice helps to replenish the nutrients in my body, but it also creates an oxygen rich alkaline environment in which cancer cells can not grow.  I am on a no fat, no sugar, no salt diet, because cancer feeds off of these three things.  The coffee enemas stimulate the liver which causes it to purge the toxins while the nutrients from the juices replenish it with new raw fuel.

Thank you to all of you who continually pray for and bless us with items such as organic coffee and produce, for those who have helped us acquire our juicer, etc...
The good news is I feel great!!!  The biggest prayer request I have is for us to figure out a way for me to get more rest.  A huge part of the therapy is resting while the detoxing takes place.  As you can imagine this is very hard to do with a full time job and two kiddos.  Lindsy has been a true servant but we are both exhausted and feeling the drain of the routine. (and it's only week two!) This therapy is not just a "diet" - it's an intense treatment.

My options kinda came down to doing this or doing 6 months of chemo.  This is "natural" but it's still an aggressive attack on cancer.  This is not a choice but rather a necessity for decreasing the odds of Mr. Melanoma's face reappearing somewhere else in my body.

Again, thanks for all of your prayers and support during this. Before I sign off  I did want to share that I have had some great time alone with the Lord during certain down times of the routine and have been able to hear some great sermon podcasts during my daily prep in the morning. This has helped to keep my soul rejuvenated.  In this very moment I feel physically exhausted and slightly discouraged but the following scripture gives me hope and recalibrates my heart:

“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
Psalm 91:14-16

Hey ya'll. It's L.

We have been getting lots of questions on the therapy/schedule/juicing/etc. so I figured I would post a bit more of the "what".

This past weekend I put together some numbers based on Williams juicing/meal regimen so we would not have to make multiple trips to the grocery like we did last week.  Here is the weekly shopping list:

35 lbs of carrots
32 lbs of apples
21 oranges
6 lbs of potatoes
20 gallons of distilled water
21 servings of veggies
14 servings of fruit
8 romaine hearts
7 lemons
7 green peppers
2 bottles of flax seed oil
1 head of red leaf lettuce, endive, escarole, swiss chard, red cabbage, and water cress each

And that's just for William! Needless to say it's a lot to manage and I am having a hard time figuring out what to eat myself, what to feed Moses and, pray for me, because Meadow will be eating soon! It is also very expensive to buy all of William's food organic but we know God will provide for us.  He always has!

The routine is crushing at times and I understand now why people who do the treatment for months travel to the Gerson clinic in Mexico.  William and I both get up before 6am to start prepping for the day and we literally don't stop washing/chopping/prepping until after 10pm. His enema/juice/meal schedule is below for those of you who are interested.

As William said, please pray that we would find a way for him to get more rest, and please also pray that God would give me the strength to maintain this for as long as is necessary. (at least until William leaves for Sudan. Yes he's going to Sudan next month, more on that later)

6am coffee enema (and yep that's what it sounds like)
8am breakfast (oatmeal and fruit), freshly squeezed OJ, supplements
9am green juice, supplements
9:30am carrot/apple juice, supplements
10am coffee enema, carrot/apple juice, supplements
11am carrot juice, supplements
12pm green juice, supplements
1pm lunch (large salad, baked potato, veggie and fruit), carrot/apple juice, supplements
2pm coffee enema, green juice, supplements
3pm carrot juice, supplements
4pm carrot juice, supplements
5pm carrot/apple juice, supplements
6pm coffee enema, green juice, supplements
7pm dinner (same as lunch), carrot/apple juice, supplements
10pm coffee enema

Gerson Day One, Follow Up Doctors Appointment, and How You Can Help!

Yesterday was Day One of the Gerson Therapy. William is feeling good but it is crazy intense. Seriously. It's like having another job and you all know we have time for that.

To give you an idea of his day, it starts with a 6 am coffee enema and  from there he is juicing every hour, plus three meals of freshly prepared salad, veggies, and fruit, and four more coffee enemas throughout the day, the last one being at 10 pm. This is no joke people.

Today's blog is just the "what" of the Gerson Therapy or as some of you might be thinking "what the hell":-) Hopefully tomorrow I can go more into the "why".

We also had our follow up appointment at the JGB Cancer Center this morning with Dr. Miller.  William explained that we spent a weekend praying, reading and thinking about the decision to do chemo or not to do chemo and did not take the decision lightly and that we came to the conclusion not to do chemo.  Dr. Miller said "First, I believe in prayer. Second, it is very reasonable for you not to do chemo." Dr. Miller explained that among melanoma patients, William is in the "low risk" category. This was a huge relief and I think the first time we have heard the words "low risk" in two months! He suggested William have a PET scan every 6 months for the next two years to closely monitor any changes in his body.

Many of you have been asking what we need and how you can help us. We are so grateful for your generosity and desire to serve us! We do have needs; more than I think we realized or assumed we would. I'll lay them out here. We are looking forward to the day we can serve ya'll too!

First and foremost, we need prayer. Not in a cliche "prayer first" way but in a real we believe God hears and answers prayer way. God has power over death and disease, he is sovereign and has designed this 
trial for us. He is using it to grow our dependence on him through prayer and we hope the same for all of you. Pray for our strength and perseverance during the therapy and that Williams body would become a place cancer does NOT want to be. Pray that we would draw near to Him and rest in His peace.

Second, we are going through a LOT of fruits and veggies! Carrots, apples, oranges, and potatoes are the top four (in that order). We are anticipating that Williams food and food for juicing will cost about $700 a month. It would be awesome if folks could grab an extra bag of carrots or such when already out doing normal shopping. All of Williams food needs to be ORGANIC. If you have any connections with local farmers that would also be great; let us know that too. We'll be going through a bunch of greens also with all the salads we'll be eating.

The medical bills from the surgeries, MRI, and PET scan have started rolling in as well. We are blessed by SBTS's great insurance but still have an out of pocket expense of about $3,000. If you feel led to contribute in that way please do.

William is supposed to be taking it easy (no exercise or strenuous activity; walking only) for the time being so we are in need of some volunteers to cut our grass.  It will probably only need to be done once more for the year. Let us know if you are willing to help in that way.

A random item we are needing is a hot plate, the kind you plug in to an outlet.  I'm sure I can find one online but haven't had a chance to look quite yet.

That's all for now. There are a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head that I'd love to get out but finding the time for that is challenging. Hopefully more to come soon!

Don't Waste Your Cancer

I realize that having a blog means that those of you following it sort of expect regular updates...  We've been busy this past weekend preparing for today - the day William starts the Gerson Therapy.  So, I'm simply going to post a link to an article written by John Piper that has been amazingly encouraging to us and a wonderful reminder the sovereignty of God.  William came across it and we both keep it open in our safari app so we can reference it often.  You can replace the word "cancer" with just about any other trial: job loss, homelessness, adultery, death of a family member, bankruptcy, etc.  We hope you find it as encouraging as we do.

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/resources/dont-waste-your-cancer

I will post an update tonight on how day one went.  I'll also include a list of "needs" that we'll have during this time.  Many of you have been asking and we are so blessed to be loved by you all!

entering blog world

We are entering a new world of blogging here. Welcome. As we said in the email thank you so much to everyone who helped purchase Williams new juicer! He's very excited to get started on his new Gerson diet (more on that later).
We had a great 24 hours away last weekend. (Thank You to the Noltemeyers and Deebs for the wonderful cabin and piece of paradise!) It was great to have time to reflect and just be in Gods creation. (I almost didn't know what to do with myself without any kids climbing on me or needing my attention) While we didn't come to any new or different conclusions concerning Williams treatment, we did get to spend time alone together and in Gods word.  It was desperately needed.  It was only the third night without kids in the last 2 years!
And now the word you have all been waiting for: William has decided not to do the chemo. Logically speaking, there are two reasons for this.  First, William is currently "cancer free".  There is a good chance he will not remain this way, according to the doctors, but right now there is no known cancer in his body. If it comes back, his immune system will need to be in tip-top shape to fight it.  Chemo will destroy his immune system, leaving him defenseless.  Second, the rate of success in treating melanoma with chemo is poor, really poor, and hellish to boot.
What he will be doing is the "Gerson Therapy". http://www.gerson.org/ Simply put "The Gerson Therapy is a safe, natural treatment developed by Dr. Max Gerson in the 1920’s that uses organic foods, juicing, coffee enemas, detoxification and natural supplements to activate the body’s ability to heal itself.  Over the past 60 years, thousands of people have used the Gerson Therapy to recover from so-called “incurable” diseases such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease and arthritis."
William was first introduced to the Gerson Therapy 8 years ago when the brother of one of his coworkers was using it to treat the same melanoma that William has. At the time, William knew only that the brother had cancer, not what kind.  Last month, when we first found out that William was diagnosed with melanoma, a good friend of ours who has Lyme's disease sent us a care package. We didn't know what he was sending until we opened the package and found the book "Healing the Gerson Way". The more we read about the Gerson Therapy the more it made sense and William realized the divine nature in which he was introduced to it so many years ago. Nothing surprises our God.
It's getting late so we'll have to post more on the Gerson Diet later.  We (I say we because we'll all be eating differently) will be starting on Sunday. 

James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."