PS (Dear Me Part Two)

(You can read part one of this post here.)

PS pre-four-kids-under-the-age-of-five-self:

A few things I forgot to mention (because little people are like memory leaches)...

Many books and resources about managing a large family will tell you to include the above mentioned leaches in the daily chores and house cleaning as a way of "training" them. That's great. And sometimes it works. It is also completely acceptable to put them in front of the TV and do it yourself because it takes 1/100th the amount of time.

The urine smell that permeates your house even after you have scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom? It is the shower curtain. Wash that sucker.

Do not make two meals. I repeat, do not make two meals. Once you do it they will never ever forget the time you made them something else because they didn't like the perfectly acceptable meal you first presented them with. Don't do it. They will not starve.

Just smile. When you are out in public and people give you strange looks or you hear "You've got your hands full" for the 50th time that week... Just smile. It's not worth it.

"Mama where am I from?" "You were born in Indiana" "Oh. I was just wondering where I am from. Did you lay me?" - Moses (bio) March 2013

Don't neglect your "first" kids. They may not be tantruming or having night terrors or screaming curse words at you but they are having a hard time too. Figure out a way to get them some one-on-one time AND time out of the house and away from the craziness. One day they will get it but right now it is hard. Don't overlook them.

Someone will say it. Those words you dread hearing. Those words that are most unhelpful and unloving and unsympathetic - "This is what you wanted isn't it?" They will say it at just the wrong time and they will have no idea how hurtful it is. It may come from someone who loves you very much and wants to be helpful and loving and sympathetic. You must forgive them. They don't know and you didn't either.

Your family will never be normal again and that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. You will find a new normal. You will emerge from survival mode with a new family who is closer and stronger and more like Jesus. Normal families may not understand you or your new way of living. Those normal families have no idea what they are missing.

Oh, and your husband wants you to know that if you practiced half of what you preach your life would be much easier.

Eshet chayil!

Mama of four-kids-under-the-age-of-five,