my oneBIGidea from Summit9

William and I were super blessed to be able to attend Summit9 in Nashville last week. Several months back a friend gifted us with some funds to get away by ourselves and we thought this was the perfect opportunity! (Thanks bro!;-)

We focused on the community based orphan care track but also heard speakers on everything from homeschooling to "connecting while correcting" with kids from hard places. I walked away with oneBIGidea...

Relationship is the cornerstone of orphan care because it's the method God used to redeem us. He came as a man who could walk with us, relate to us, speak with us, eat with us, weep with us. He came to us.

How obvious. Jesus' model of redemption is the best practice for reaching those close to the heart of God.

Go to them.
Love them.
Serve them.
Lay down your life for them.

/// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// /// ///

How will the foster care system ever be able to restore families and birth parents without a meaningful relationship with those birth parents?

How can we as foster/adoptive parents connect with our kids from hard places if relationship is not valued as more important than having a clean house or "normal family" or social media or fill-in-the-blank?

How can we as Christians even consider reintegrating third world street kids with their families if we don't invest the blood, sweat and tears necessary to form relationships with them?

How can we create effective community based orphan care for vulnerable children in poor lawless countries without going and living among them, walking in their shoes and laying down our lives for them?

How can we show the watching world the love of Jesus when we as Christians sling virtual mud at each other, putting aside our relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ, in order to voice our own agendas on how to best care for the least of these?

I'm no expert. No seminary degree here, but it seems embarrassingly obvious that if we are to show these children, these families, that their lives are redeemable, that restoration is possible, that beauty can come from ashes and freedom can be found... then our model must reflect the One who makes all of those things a reality.

a question you're probably thinking but are afraid to ask

Do I have what it takes to raise an African child?

I've been asked this before in a retrospective kinda way, as in "how do you...?"

Trillia Newbell answered this question with 

amazing grace and wisdom on The Gospel Coalition blog a while back. 

See what she has to say about it here. 

It's an excellent read for anyone considering transracial adoption!

Have you asked yourself this question? 

What other questions have you asked yourself 

when your thoughts drift towards being a transracial family?

weekend reading

"When we consider the complexities of issues that surround the global orphan crisis, we are confronted with the fact that truly visiting orphans in their distress (James 1:27) requires more of us than we can imagine. The mandate to care for orphans over the long haul requires that we give of ourselves in ways that are at war with our culture’s pursuit of earth-bound treasures. It’s impossible to care for the orphan without living self-sacrificially.

As a result, if we are not actively locating our identity in or being defined by the grand story of redemption, our efforts to care for the orphan will likely be superficial, perfunctory, and short-lived." - Dan Cruver, Together for Adoption.

 Read the full post here.

Waiting for Glory,

i'm not the point

This week was a rough one. [WARNING: EMOTIONS ARE A'FLOWING SO THIS MAY BE A RAMBLE. YOU WERE WARNED.]

For starters, we've been waiting on ONE document to move forward with the DRC court process. We've been told for several weeks that we should have it "soon" and this week the communication changed to "this week". But the week is over, and we don't have it. We are discouraged to say the least.

A little closer to home we are struggling, let me stress that, WE ARE STRUGG-UH-LING, with a situation involving a couple little boys we love dearly. Reflecting the nature of God and focusing on how He is at work in the lives of others when we just don't see it is unbelievably difficult.

I know that I should reflect the grace and mercy that has so freely been given to me.

BUT.

IT.

IS.

HARD.

It is hard because it cannot come from me. It is not within me to give grace and mercy freely.

I keep asking myself "When do I get to stop?". Stop giving grace and start judging. Stop giving mercy and start dishing out ultimatums. When do I get to walk away from this messy situation that pulls apart my heart on a daily basis and go back to living life with my sweet simple family?

The answer: I don't.

Because Jesus never did. He never stopped pursuing the broken. He never stopped pursuing me.

Ironically, I was scheduled to speak to a group of teenagers on Friday about caring for orphans and why it is central to the gospel. When I sat down to put together my presentation ON THURSDAY NIGHT AT 10 PM, I was empty. I was exhausted. I was frustrated and I was heartbroken.

"Hey teenagers, want to feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest, stomped on and sucked dry? Sign up here! Orphan care for life!"

Since I couldn't get into a groove and focus on my presentation I decided to self medicate unwind by checking my blog roll and came across this post.

I knew immediately, these words were penned for me.

"Cultivate a thankful heart. When we give thanks, when we look around us and see what we've been given, how we get to participate in God's work, that we get to witness grace and love and redemption, it should floor us. Who are we that we get to do this? Who are we that God would use us in this way? It's the antidote to the soul rot of bitterness and self-righteousness.

We aren't the point.

Jesus is."

Who am I that I get to love these boys? Who am I that I get to witness grace and love and redemption in their lives?

I am not the point. Jesus is.

So I prayed and thanked God for giving me this trial that, were it up to me, I would have bailed on yesterday. Or three months ago. I thanked Him for allowing me to particpate in His work.

Then on Friday afternoon, just a couple hours before my talk with the teenagers, the "trial" drove me to tears. Again. For like the third time this week.

I just don't get it. I don't see His plan and purpose and can't figure out what I am supposed to "do". (Mistake #357 Lindsy. You are not supposed to "do" anything. Just be obedient.)

I drove to the warehouse where I would share our story with the teenagers, the biblical mandate they are responsible for and provide them with practical ideas to get started.

I pulled into my parking space, turned off my car and I prayed. I prayed for the boys and I prayed for the teenagers. I asked God that they would not see me but see Jesus. That they would not hear my words but His.

As I walked the teenagers through our journey I was reminded of all I have to be thankful for. That we get to participate in God's work. That we get to reflect His love and mercy to the fatherless. That I don't have to do it because He will.

I am not the point. Jesus is.

And then, after I shared with the teenagers, they packaged over 5,000 meals for orphans in Haiti. They danced. They sang. (Really, they had a blast!) They participated in God's work of caring for the fatherless and I was humbled to be a part of it.

Who am I that I get to participate in this?

Starting an Orphan Care Ministry

One of my favorite topics is caring for orphans as a church. Wanna know why? Because caring for orphans is gospel work.

“God has called us to be a defender of the defenseless because that is who He is. 
We are returning worship to God when we show His character 
to the world by championing the cause of the least of these.” 

- Orphanology

Caring for orphans is not the responsibility of the state or the government of another country; it’s the work of God’s people.

Before we dive in, let’s be clear on who we are talking about. According to UNICEF there are 163 million "orphans" worldwide. Most of us, when we think of the term "orphan", think of children without parents.

UNICEF and other agencies "adopted the broader definition of orphan in the mid-1990s as the AIDS pandemic began leading to the death of millions of parents worldwide, leaving an ever increasing number of children growing up without one or more parents. So the terminology of a ‘single orphan’ – the loss of one parent – and a ‘double orphan’ – the loss of both parents – was born to convey this growing crisis."

So the number of vulnerable children worldwide is estimated to be 163 million. Some of these children have two living parents but are highly vulnerable because the parents are not able to afford their care, abuse them, neglect them, are very ill...

Of those 163 million vulnerable children, only 18.5 million are "double orphans". I say only because, if we just looked at the 163, it would be our assumption that homes are needed for all of those children, but that is not the case.

Nearly 90% of those children have homes and living family members. Their entire family needs support. And love. And prayer.

This is not just a global problem. There are thousands of orphans right here in Kentucky. We don’t use the term orphan in the United States, but our society is not above this crisis.

The scriptural mandate is clear: Caring for orphans is the churches business.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: 

to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, 

and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

- James 1:27

learn to do good;
seek justice,
correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
plead the widow's cause

- Isaiah 1:17

I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted,
and will execute justice for the needy.

- Psalm 140:12

Give justice to the weak and the fatherless;

maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.

Rescue the weak and the needy;

deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”

Psalm 82:3-4

Starting an orphan care ministry may sound a little overwhelming. 

Here are three words to help you get started:

I realize it’s not quite that simple, but in some ways, it is. 

Here’s a bullet point list of steps you can take to start an orphan care ministry at your church:

           

            Get permission. Depending on the size of you church this may or may not be an easy task. If you have a large church you can always start with your small group and work up from there.

               

Find like minded people. Connect with other singles/couples/families that have a heart for orphans and start small. The first “project” our orphan care ministry took part in was just a few families heading to Target to purchase items for kiddos in Sudan.Easy peasy.

Develop a mission statement based on scripture. Your mission statement is your road map. Why do you exist? What will you focus on? Here is ours:

The Antioch orphan care ministry exists to 

educate, encourage, equip, and engage families and the church 

as we seek to live out James 1:27.

Start an adoption fund and put it in the budget. People will not know you are behind it until it’s in the budget.

Choose a local partner. You can support this partner in many ways but being local, the number one way I would suggest is this: warm bodies. (with hearts for orphans of course) Most likely, your local partner will be fairly small and staffed almost entirely if not completely by volunteers. They need you to rally your troops and provide them with some relief. 

Choose a global partner. We desire to support our global partner through sponsorships, prayer and annual trips.

*A note about choosing your partners. Don’t overlook anti-abortion, human trafficking and organizations that support indigenous mothers/families. This work is essential in the fight against the orphan crisis.

Raise awareness and educate your church members. The absolute best way you can do this is for it to come from the pulpit. I know this can be extremely challenging in some churches. I am beyond blessed to not have that problem but here’s my advice: PRAY. Pray for the Holy Spirit to speak to your pastor. Pray for his heart to be broken as the Father's is for the fatherless.

And don’t be shy. Buy him a copy of Adopted for Life or Orphanology. Offer to pay his way to The Summit. And then pray some more.
                               

Host an Orphan Sunday event. This can be as small as an info table in the lobby and as big as an orphan sermon/concert/meal extravaganza.

Celebrate with couples that adopt. Throw them a shower, meet them at the airport, throw parties for their court dates.

Support foster/safe families within your church. Take them meals, be respite care providers, babysit so they can have a date night, etc.
               

Orphan care is warfare!

Cover your ministry in prayer. No matter how big or small your orphan care ministry is, the place to start is on your knees. 

I'd love to hear what you are doing at your church or among your small group? What does orphan care ministry look like where you are?

we are grafted in

I am honored and humbled to be featured as a contributing writer today at We Are Grafted In.  We Are Grafted In is a Christian website that seeks to encourage adoptive parents and those interested in adoption. Check out the post here. It's an oldie but (apparently) a goodie.   

positively Jesus

This post about a four year old girl being UNinvited from a birthday party because she is HIV+ was all over the adoption blog world last week.

I'm still processing it for a few reasons:

First, our kindredspiritfriends the Henderson's left on Thursday for Ethiopia. They are traveling to meet their four year old son who is HIV+. We love them and can't wait to meet this little boy. (Even if they are lapping us with adoption #2 while we're slowly making progress on #1:-)

Second, visiting the Kosair ER last Sunday made me sick to my stomach. (If we aren't FB friends the lowdown is this: Meadow fell, she is ok, vaccinate your kids for tetanus.) Do our kids really need slushies and big screen TV's while they wait to see one of the hundreds of thousands of doctors in this country? Is sitting in a room without a television and some sugar for longer than 15 minutes considered torture?

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), there is one doctor to every 417 people in the US.
In Ethiopia there is one doctor to every 35,000 people.

In 2010, there were ZERO documented deaths due to HIV/AIDS in the US. The most recent data states that approximately 67,000 Ethiopians died from HIV/AIDS in 2007.


These statistics are the same or worse in most the rest of Africa.

Our kids are sucking down red #7 and watching Yo Gaba Gaba while over 25,000 children around the world WILL DIE TODAY from hunger and illnesses that are preventable and treatable.

I digress.

Thirdly, Jesus.

I've been thinking about where Jesus would be if He were here now. Would He be with the healthy and the rich and the insured and the spoiled? (Of which I am admittedly a gold star member.) Or would He be with the sick and the poor and the marginalized and the suffering?

Jesus' "lifestyle" was pretty clear. He was homeless. He had no belongings. He hung out with prostitutes and lepers. He was a humble carpenter. He befriended friendless tax collectors.

And he healed.
The sick, the lame, the blind, the paralyzed, the leper, the spiritually dead.
He healed them ALL.

I don't know the family who issued the UNinvitation and I am trying hard not to judge them. I don't even know the family who received the UNinvitation but their message is clear: EDUCATE.

Educate because these children deserve it. Educate because these children need Jesus. Educate because those UNinviting them from birthday parties need Jesus. Educate because we need Jesus just as much as they do.

Share with anyone who will listen, and even those who won't, the facts about HIV/AIDS. Share this video - it's a great place to start.

And share the reason why we should care about these children.

Because Jesus cares about them.

They need Him.

We need Him.

The UNinviters need Him too.

Why I Cried My Mascara Off

Anytime I hear a sermon about adoption, or one where adoption is mentioned, or a story about adoption or sometimes just the word adoption - I get teary eyed. I'm not a crier or even an emotional person but mention the "A" word and I will probably tear up.

What happened Sunday night was not tearing up. It was floodgates exploding through my tear ducts.

Sunday was "Sanctity of Life" day which, to be honest, as someone who did not grow up in the church, I had never heard of before. The main point I left with is that "how I value the life in front of me that is hurting and in need says something about how I feel about the sanctity of life."

"Sanctity of Life" is not about a single issue. Not when it's about the hurting and need that is right in front of me. It's about lots of issues. And it effects us every day. I didn't make any decisions today that dealt with abortion, but I was short with a co-worker. I didn't make any decisions today that dealt directly with the poor, but I drove right past an elderly man riding his wheelchair down the street in the rain.

If I am supposed to be God's vessel in this fallen world for taking salvation to the lost, then those decisions do affect the sanctity of those lives. Inasmuch as I can be obedient in them. And they say something to the rest of the world about how I feel about life and the One who gives it.

"As God's people, we must respond to the soul's in front of us with Gospel love, grace, and truth."

The needs are immense, crippling even. But God has a plan. It is us, His people. There is no Plan B.
We. Are. It.

Reason #1 of why I cried my mascara off: We are so blessed to be a part of Antioch Church. Unbelievably blessed. I started crying literal tears of joy as these applications of the scripture (Job 10:8-12) came across the screen:

We need to learn what God's word says.
We need to learn the needs and opportunities.
Pray.
Advocate.
Adopt.

And when I heard our pastor say: "There is a great need and it demands something of us." and, when speaking of orphan statistics and adoption "We've got to be willing to take risks... We've got to figure out what this means for us." I wept. Blubbering, sobbing, mascara all over your face wept.

Because I needed to hear that. I needed affirmation. (Reason #2 that I cried my mascara off) As we learn more about our son's referral's son's life in the DRC and we read more books and learn more statistics and talk to more professionals - I've become downright discouraged. And scared. And I needed someone to remind me that it is hard and it will be hard but we must be willing to take risks. Not to be courageous or cute with our multi-colored family but because we believe that God is bigger than poverty and institutions and abuse and neglect and what experts and statistics have to say about adopting out of birth order.

I mean no disrespect, but the healing and redemptive power of the Gospel IS bigger than all of those things. And His word says to care for those who cannot care for themselves. To bring them justice and plead their cause.

But the weight of those things, of the needs, it is heavy. So during worship after the service, I sat in the pew, head on my knees and just cried at the weight of it all. (Reason #3 I cried my mascara off) It was like I could feel it. All the heaviness, the brokenness, the sin, inside my chest. The burden of 143 million orphans, 26,000 starving children, the poor, widows, disease, abuse, neglect...

I could feel it like this:

There is no insightful resolution to all of this. I just needed to get it out. All I can say in closing is: Here am I. Use me.

the sin of our generation?

"I believe that this could very well be looked back on as the sin of our generation. I look at my parents and ask, where were they during the civil rights movement? I look at my grandparents and ask, what were they doing when the holocaust in Europe was occurring with regard to the Jews, and why didn't they speak up? And when we think of our great, great, great-grandparents, we think how could they have sat by and allowed slavery to exist? And I believe that our children and their children, 40 or 50 years from now, are going to ask me, what did you do while 40 million children became orphans in Africa?"

--Rich Stearns, President of World Vision

I first read this quote awhile ago but came across it again recently and it hit me in a much different way. I don’t want to make light of what Mr. Stearns is saying. I believe that the orphan crisis in Africa and around the world could very well be called the “sin of our generation”. (Second maybe to evangelism, or lack-there-of)  And he is obviously very intelligent and wise. It’s pretty clear he also loves Jesus.

But, my fear is not that my children or grandchildren will question my response to this crisis. My fear is that my Creator, the Creator of those precious orphans, will ask me and a host of self-proclaiming Christians one day “What did you do while 156 million children became orphans around the world?”

I’m not as worried about what people will say or think; most people will have no idea that I even existed in 75 years. My mist will be long gone.

If there are 225 million of us (adult Christ followers) in the US and upwards of half a million of them (orphans) in the US as well, shouldn’t simple math tell you that something is very wrong? Even if you look at the global statistics, the believers in the US alone could (I’m not at ALL suggesting that we should, in fact, BAD idea) care for all of the orphans in the entire world.

I understand that something IS very wrong. We live in a fallen world where there exists sin and hatred and brokenness and heartbreak and cancer and orphans. But God knew this did he not? He knew that the fallen world would look and feel very… fallen.

But God calls us to be the light, the salt, to go and tell about his Son, to care for the poor, the oppressed, the widow, the orphan… He commands us to these things knowing how difficult it would be and the hardship it would bring. But he promises us eternal rewards, not temporary ease and comfort. He lived here himself. He felt it for himself. No one knows the depth and magnitude of our fallen world more than the One who was slain for it.

There are plenty of people who will tell you what you want to hear. Thank God there are also people who will tell you the truth. The truth is, that caring for orphans and vulnerable children is hard and exhausting and messy and will bring suffering and fiery darts.

I know some of these things first hand, but not all of them. Someone loved me enough to share their story, to be real with me and to prepare me for what lies ahead. It’s also all over the Bible. (Just sayin’.) Suffering should be expected, even more so when we are obeying His commands.

As Matt Chandler so aptly puts it, I would much rather, on that day when I meet my Maker, say to him that I took him for his word, that I thought he meant what he said and ask forgiveness for maybe being a bit too bold or harsh. (I know some of you are thinking right now "Amen sister, you'll be asking!") I would rather say that, than to say that I thought he was kidding. Or didn’t really mean it. Or that I ignored his commands.

It could be today that I meet Him. It could be today that you meet Him. And Jesus will cover our laziness and He will cover our arrogance and He will cover our apathy. But the tension is what it looks like when we live in obedience now. We are here now to make disciples.

156 million orphans turned disciples adopted into His Kingdom would be a powerful army for Christ, wouldn’t they?