Give1Save1 week = blessed

THANK YOU  to everyone who donated to Glory's fund 

and shared our video last week! 

We were so blessed by your giving and sharing 

and even more blessed by your notes of 

encouragement and prayer!

AND the winner of our shop giveaway is....

Jenny A. Congrats Jenny and thank YOU for donating! 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

At the beginning of the year I decided to be more intentional with this space. 

Along with intentionality comes purposeful rest. 

I plan to rest from the blog and social media every seventh week. 

This is my week of rest and I NEED it. 

I spent a LOT of time online last week pushing our video. 

Now I rest. 

See you next week!

37 Things I Love About My Husband

1. He's hot. 

Let's be honest, 

it's the first thing you noticed
about your significant other too.

2. He beat cancer.

3. He is an amazing father.

4. He is an amazing provider.

5. He is an amazing storyteller.
(Are you picking up on the theme?)

6. He has traveled to 13 countries on 5 continents.

7. The tattoos.

8. He is a dreamer.

9. He planned our entire honeymoon
which included staying in this treehouse:

10. He is running his first 5k next week at the age of 37.

11. He is sweet.

12. He is silly.

13. The beard. I may not be crazy about a year long pursuit of epic facial hair 

but I love a trim beard. 

14. He was the face of one of the most awesome adoption fundraisers ever. 

Or so I was told.

15. He loves the Lord.

16. He is a fighter. 

He has fought for our marriage, his life, 

and the fatherless.

17. His heart for Africa.

18. He has held jobs ranging from tarot card reader to youth pastor and everything in between.

19. He forgives me and forgives me and forgives me and...

20. He sacrifices his time to play in our amazing worship band at church.

21. He supports me in everything. 

And I mean everything. 

22. His birthday is St. Patrick's Day.

23. Early on in our dating he told me he wanted to be married before he turned 30. 

He was 29 1/2.

24. He won't let me commit suicide by Nutella overdose. 

(This would also be on my 37 Things I Don't Love About My Husband list.)

25. He protects me from discouragement.

26. He has the work ethic of an ant.

27. He loves silent films.

28. On our first Christmas he bought me about a dozen gifts 

I had mentioned in casual passing

since we started dating four months earlier.  

29. He loves dogs. 

He won't admit it anymore but he does.

30. He is wrapped around our daughters finger and loves every second of it.

31. He has a quirky sense of humor.

32. He once drank nothing but carrot/apple/green juice for 12 weeks.

33. He once lived in a tent in Alaska 

and a bear poked his nose into said tent while hubby was inside. 

You can't make that up.

34. He was a bronze sculptor.

35. He has curly hair.

36. His name is William Wallace.

37. He made this amazing video for our Give1Save1 week. 

Did you WATCH, GIVE, SHARE, ENTER, AND REPEAT? 

Do so here.)

The Wallace Family - Adoption Story from William H. Wallace II on Vimeo.

It's a Girl!

Before bed each night we pray with our kids. Moses always wants to pray he doesn't have bad dreams. Meadow usually wants to pray for her babies or her Mimi. T wants to know what we are doing tomorrow and is then thankful for whatever that is. M always has a long list of people, animals and superheros.

One evening in October Meadow surprised us all when she requested we pray for her baby sister. I promptly explained she did not have a baby sister. There are boys as far as we can see - no sister in sight.

But she persisted.

Every night for almost a week she wanted to pray for her baby sister. Nothing we said could convince her otherwise. (Yes, we tried to talk our kid out of praying for something. We made Jesus proud.) William and I grew a little more freaked out each night and he made the next available appointment for the big snip surgery. For real.

What's In A Name?

The first referral we received from the DRC was a little boy name Gradi. Gradi is about 4 or 5 years old and we planned to give him the name Malachi - first or middle - it would have been his choice. Gradi went home to live with his uncle in February and the name Malachi came off our future-Wallace-babes-list.

In March when we met the mother of our foster boys (prior to meeting them), she pulled two photos out of her purse - one of each of them - and told us their names. Guess what M's name is?!?! We got our Malachi. (For the time being anyway:-)

Then there is the story of the two Moses'. I still find it no coincidence that I have a four year old little boy named Moses and there is another woman with a four year old little boy named Moise on the other side of the planet. For some reason he and his mother were brought into our lives and we're still trying to figure out what that reason is.

After we lost our referral for Moise, we decided to take a break from international adoption. We were, and still are, tired.

Shortly after determining we needed a break a few folks contacted me suggesting certain agencies or waiting child lists. I kindly blew them off.

All but one.

One email from a stranger included information about a waiting baby girl, and I almost hit delete, but then I saw her name. Glory.

Do you see that list up there?! That name, dead center?!


Glory is the name we had chosen for our next little girl.

Oh. S%*#.

I responded with my schpeel.  We have been in the process for almost four years, lost two referrals this year, we are tired, yada-yada-yada.

But. I. couldn't. get. Glory. out. of. my. mind.

I decided to do what is anti my personality. To not pursue her. Instead, I prayed. Specifically I prayed if Glory is ours, the nice stranger woman would email ME. Not the other way around.

I thought surely she would be gone. Who has healthy waiting baby girls? Surely someone would step forward for her, right?

Nine days later, the nice stranger woman sent me a message. Glory was still waiting.

I went to William, explained my prayer and that it had been answered. We decided to pray some more.

Pursuing Glory would mean starting over financially. From the beginning. The very beginning. Like $20,000 ago.

In order to get to the point of accepting Glory as our referral, we would need $11,000. So we prayed for God to give us a financial sign.

A few days later I finally had a chance to sit down and add up our Show Hope grant, Lifesong Foundation account (from our Both Hands project) and our savings. To our surprise it came to $10,885. Pretty close to $11,000 right?

Then, as we were getting ready for bed I emptied my pockets to find two checks from friends who had come over that day to purchase last minute Christmas gifts.

$11,000.

And that, my friends, is a sign. Confirmation to pursue this little girl we never even would have considered.

I am breaking down and doing what I've told other people to do a dozen times - adding a "Donate" button to our blog and one of those hideous thermometer thingis. We've got a lot of money to raise people and not much time to do it. (Glory should be home in about SIX months!)

Feel free to drop a few dollars in the pot. We've also got some new-to-us fundraisers coming up. Tomorrow we'll reveal a unique fundraiser my husband is STOKED about!

Waiting for Glory,

DIY Louisville:For the Fatherless Spotlight

It's always fun to share our story, the plight of orphans and widows and 

talk about the amazing women who make the beads for our jewelry. 

Today For the Fatherless is spotlighted on D.I.Y. Louisville and 

we are sharing with the local Louisvillians! 

Check it out. 

Maybe you'll fall in love with some earrings...

i'm not the point

This week was a rough one. [WARNING: EMOTIONS ARE A'FLOWING SO THIS MAY BE A RAMBLE. YOU WERE WARNED.]

For starters, we've been waiting on ONE document to move forward with the DRC court process. We've been told for several weeks that we should have it "soon" and this week the communication changed to "this week". But the week is over, and we don't have it. We are discouraged to say the least.

A little closer to home we are struggling, let me stress that, WE ARE STRUGG-UH-LING, with a situation involving a couple little boys we love dearly. Reflecting the nature of God and focusing on how He is at work in the lives of others when we just don't see it is unbelievably difficult.

I know that I should reflect the grace and mercy that has so freely been given to me.

BUT.

IT.

IS.

HARD.

It is hard because it cannot come from me. It is not within me to give grace and mercy freely.

I keep asking myself "When do I get to stop?". Stop giving grace and start judging. Stop giving mercy and start dishing out ultimatums. When do I get to walk away from this messy situation that pulls apart my heart on a daily basis and go back to living life with my sweet simple family?

The answer: I don't.

Because Jesus never did. He never stopped pursuing the broken. He never stopped pursuing me.

Ironically, I was scheduled to speak to a group of teenagers on Friday about caring for orphans and why it is central to the gospel. When I sat down to put together my presentation ON THURSDAY NIGHT AT 10 PM, I was empty. I was exhausted. I was frustrated and I was heartbroken.

"Hey teenagers, want to feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest, stomped on and sucked dry? Sign up here! Orphan care for life!"

Since I couldn't get into a groove and focus on my presentation I decided to self medicate unwind by checking my blog roll and came across this post.

I knew immediately, these words were penned for me.

"Cultivate a thankful heart. When we give thanks, when we look around us and see what we've been given, how we get to participate in God's work, that we get to witness grace and love and redemption, it should floor us. Who are we that we get to do this? Who are we that God would use us in this way? It's the antidote to the soul rot of bitterness and self-righteousness.

We aren't the point.

Jesus is."

Who am I that I get to love these boys? Who am I that I get to witness grace and love and redemption in their lives?

I am not the point. Jesus is.

So I prayed and thanked God for giving me this trial that, were it up to me, I would have bailed on yesterday. Or three months ago. I thanked Him for allowing me to particpate in His work.

Then on Friday afternoon, just a couple hours before my talk with the teenagers, the "trial" drove me to tears. Again. For like the third time this week.

I just don't get it. I don't see His plan and purpose and can't figure out what I am supposed to "do". (Mistake #357 Lindsy. You are not supposed to "do" anything. Just be obedient.)

I drove to the warehouse where I would share our story with the teenagers, the biblical mandate they are responsible for and provide them with practical ideas to get started.

I pulled into my parking space, turned off my car and I prayed. I prayed for the boys and I prayed for the teenagers. I asked God that they would not see me but see Jesus. That they would not hear my words but His.

As I walked the teenagers through our journey I was reminded of all I have to be thankful for. That we get to participate in God's work. That we get to reflect His love and mercy to the fatherless. That I don't have to do it because He will.

I am not the point. Jesus is.

And then, after I shared with the teenagers, they packaged over 5,000 meals for orphans in Haiti. They danced. They sang. (Really, they had a blast!) They participated in God's work of caring for the fatherless and I was humbled to be a part of it.

Who am I that I get to participate in this?

waiting: month two (take two)

Today marks two months since we accepted the referral for "J".

We are a tad bit closer to bringing him home. We learned on June 7th there were "errors" on our Consent to Adopt form and it was re-filed. We might already be in the midst of the first 30 day waiting period but the power has been shut off in Kinshasa so communicating with our in-country attorney has been difficult. We're hoping by the time he is able to call the US staff we will already be a week or two into the wait!


The best thing that has happened since I-don't-know-what (I wish I could come up with something clever but the children have leeched out most of my brain cells.) - this week we received FIVE photos and a 40 second video clip of "J"!

This blessing highlights one of the coolest things about adoption: community. 

A woman I am friends with on Facebook, but have never met, or even talked to in real life, sent me a message last month. She said she would be travelling to Kinshasa and would I like for her to visit "J", take some photos and video and deliver a package. UHMM, YES PLEASE!

I stuffed all of this into a gallon sized zip lock bag.

Why did this sweet woman choose us? Our little one to visit? 

Simply God's grace on our three year journey ya'll. 

I even asked her why us and she said because I am "so sweet". (Proof that we have never met.)

But seriously, there are probably 100 adopting families on the FB group with kids in Kinshasa and something prompted this sweet lady to bless us.

And bless us she did.

"J" has grown so much! Which is encouraging because most people in the Congo eat one meal a day if they are fortunate. Since his orphanage is in a slum community we assume he eats no more than that. But God is providing the nutrition he needs to grow!

In the video he waves the entire time. That's all, he just waves. For almost 40 seconds. It is the most adorable waving you have ever seen. 


He stops at the end when our sweet FB friend tells him to blow us a kiss. He kisses his hand and then slings it to the ground, almost like he has something gross on his hand and he is trying to fling it off. All. Boy.

I can't tell you how many times we have stared at those pictures or watched that video. Countless times already in just a few days. 

There are a lot of people who don't get it. Won't get it. Will never be able to relate to having a child on the other side of the world who sleeps on the concrete floor at night and eats maybe once a day and has been through more in their few short years than any of us on this side of the ocean could ever imagine. That can be hard, feeling like lots of people don't get it.

But, there are plenty of people who do. The adoption community is LARGE and caring and willing to be there in the difficult waiting and the countless fund raisers and continuous prayer requests. They get it. We get it.

Adoption is not for everyone but, if it is for you, you're joining an amazing group of people who will take time out of their trip on the other side of the world to bless you with five photos, 40 seconds of video and HOPE.

referral day: take two

It's official - we have accepted a referral for a 2 1/2 year old little boy in the DRC! His is precious and his favorite activity is eating. He will fit right in!

Since he is legally not our kiddo yet we cannot share pictures of him online but trust me, he is precious. And so young! I wasn't expecting a two year old!

So the next question is... How long?

The short answer is 8-10 months. Here's what will happen during that time...

1. The attorney in the Congo will apply for a "judgment suppletive". I don't even know what that is. Three years ago I would have cared. Now I just want them to do it and do it quickly. I don't need to know every detail. Clearly I'm not in control anyway.
2. There is a 30 day wait period after the "judgment suppletive" is applied for. Side note, in Africa 30 days is not always 30 days...
3. A "no appeal" certification is issued. Assuming no one appeals. Since this little guy has already been deemed "abandoned", in theory, no one will. Break. My. Heart.
4. The attorney will apply for a birth certificate.
5. The attorney will apply for a court date where an adoption judgment will be made.
6. After the court date there is another 30 day wait period.
7. The judge will issue a no appeal certificate for the adoption judgment.
8. The attorney will submit all of those forms to an adoption committee for final approval. This is a new step for the DRC so I am told.
9. We will apply for a visa to bring our little guy to the US.
10. We will travel and stay in country 1 - 2 weeks.
11. WE COME HOME!

According to the time frame given by our agency, this will all be finished by early 2013.

I am praying it will be done in 2012.

There are some emotional/selfish reasons for this:
I just want the waiting and wondering to be over.
I don't want our little guy to turn three in an orphanage.
I want to have him home to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
I want Moses to finally meet the brother he has been praying for for as long as he has been able to talk. Literally.

There are some practical/selfish reasons for this as well:
The adoption tax credit.
The adoption tax credit.
The adoption tax credit.
Oh, and our CIS approval expires in February. And that means Wallace home study update #5!!!

Will you join us in praying? Let's storm the gates for this orphan.

Remember what happened when we prayed for our first referral to go home? He did.

God can do it again, maybe my way, maybe not. See what I mean - the waiting and wondering?!?
Oh let it be over in 2012!

what's goin' on

I can't sleep.

So instead of wasting time on Pinterest I thought I'd answer a question we've been getting a LOT lately: What's going on with the Congo?

Well, right now, a whole. lot. of. nothing.

We lost our referral for G on February 10th; almost three months ago. At the time, we were told the wait for referrals was one - three months.

The one month mark came and went. I was ok with the waiting. Since we got our referral for G after only three days, I felt it was fair to wait the actual estimated amount of time.

We also knew that the international director from our agency would be making a trip late March/early April to meet the attorney in country, establish some communication expectations, visit the orphanages, etc. We were anxiously awaiting the DRC program update scheduled for mid-April.

Turns out the update wasn't much of an update. Something good did come of it - from now on they will not be referring kids until they have an issued abandonment decree. Genius! This will prevent so many families from loosing referrals - the investigation into their orphan status will happen before a family falls in love with their picture.

This new policy, which we are truly happy for, means that the wait time for referrals has been extended to six months. That means we are still three or so months away. This is frustrating. There will not be an African in the Wallace house in 2012.

HOWEVER, the Lord is teaching us to trust in Him in ways I seriously never imagined. Many things about this journey, that up until now made NO sense at all, are slowly coming into focus. I'm hoping that soon I will be able to share some of them here.

I've been learning some wonderful lessons about what family really is, taking care of those He puts in front of us and shaping our childrens souls as we steward them towards Him. Lessons I hope to never forget and to spread far and wide.

Thanks to all of you who have asked, prayed, supported, shared, encouraged and loved us well. God has BIG plans for our little family and I am so humbled and excited to be along for the ride.

Holding on tight,

Created for Care

 

 So I'm going here:

 

By myself. 

(Well, there will be about 400 other mama's.) 

For over 48 hours.

I can't wait.

Pray for my husband:-)

February Martini

So I'm having to post this from the app on my phone because it no longer syncs with my computer. They loaded in backwards order, starting with today.... And this includes January because I didn't get around to it last month. Enjoy!

In memory of the lady who taught me about the birds and bees, the value of a clean kitchen floor, could silence a basement full of loud girls with a single glare and loved me like I was her own.  She has been gone for almost a year and it just isn't the same without her. 

They  are so BIG. 

Meadow's post Comfy Cow meltdown.

What happens when I make a phone call.

My birthday and Ethiopian New Year.

We have three kids beds now...

Getting ready to play in the 'snow'.

What did you do with your extra day? 

Happy Leap Year Day!

a story of God's awesomeness

Ready for an unfolding story of how awesome God is and an example of how he works even when we don’t realize it?! (enter giddy excitement here.)

I’ll try to explain this as simply as possible but part of the awe of this story is in the intertwined details.

One of my Facebook friends has a son who was adopted domestically 6-7 years ago as an infant. We’ll call her Karen. Karen has a great open relationship with her son’s biological father who is now a Believer living in Louisville. We’ll call him Sam.

Sam works with a Tanzanian woman we’ll call Amy. Amy is pregnant with her 7th child and is concerned that she cannot care for this child. Amy has told Sam that she has considered aborting the baby. Sam has tried talking to Amy about adoption but she does not speak English.

Karen sent me a message to see if I knew anyone who could translate for Sam. Thru friends at church I was put in touch with a man from Tanzania who we’ll call Frank.  

After I explained the situation to Frank, he offered to speak with Amy. Sam gave Amy Frank’s number but we were unsure if she would call him. A man. A complete stranger. To talk about having an abortion.

Amy called Frank! And they know each other! And she use to attend his church! Because of this, she was comfortable sharing her story with Frank. And he was comfortable speaking with her.

Amy shared with Frank that at her first doctor’s appointment she talked with her doctor about not feeling like she could care for another baby. The doctor offered to give her a shot that would “take care of” the baby. Amy went home to discuss this with her boyfriend. Amy’s boyfriend felt that yes, they needed to abort the baby and could not care for another child.

They made an appointment to abort the baby. 

Amy backed out. 

They made another appointment to abort the baby. 

Amy backed out. 

They made a third appointment to abort the baby.  

AMY BACKED OUT! 

PRAISE GOD!!!

The boyfriend now says Amy is crazy because they cannot care for this child. Amy is confused. Amy needs our prayers.

Frank explained adoption to Amy over the phone today but she has a LOT of questions. (My facebook friend Karen is interested in possibly adopting Amy’s baby.)

Amy, Sam and Frank are going to be meeting this week so that Sam can explain to Amy what open adoption can look like.

How insane/amazing is it that God put Amy and Sam in the same workplace? Not only is Sam a Believer, but he has lived through open adoption as a birth parent!

Like I said, this story is still unfolding, but there are already so many ways in which God has been working. 

Praise God that he moved in Amy’s heart and prevented her from aborting this baby! 

Please pray that Sam would be an encouragement to Amy and her boyfriend and that Frank would translate accurately. Pray that God’s will and purpose for this child be fully realized and all for His glory!

encouragement and perspective

I've shared before that we have the most uh-mazing community. On. The. Planet. We've gotten all sorts of messages and phone calls and words of encouragement since loosing our referral last week. I want to share some of them here - I think they may be encouraging to some of you as well!

"I am praying for you today, for your heart, and for the child(ren) out there whom God already knows need your family. I also thank Him that He saw fit to allow this child to remain with a family who wanted and loves him. Adoption and orphan care is complex and riddled with bittersweet emotions, for both adoptees and their families. God uses the adoption process and journey to sanctify us as much as He uses it to provide homes to the children in need! Hugs to you!"

"After I talked to you last week and got the update on the orphanage I just kept thinking about the adoption path that God has had you on....all I could think was about Esther. Why the heck are you guys in the Congo??? Well, obviously, for such a time as this. Praise God that you have not turned a blind eye to the horrible info that you found. Praise God that you and your friends were praying for G to be safe and to get out of that place. It makes me Praise God for your faithfulness to where He has brought you. I will continue to pray that G is truly safe with his family."

"I heard about the kid you were trying to adopt. That sucks. But, it's kinda cool that because you were trying to adopt him, they found his family. How awesome would it be, if the next kid you try to adopt they find their family, and the next one and the next one? All because you are trying to adopt one kid."

That last note is from a dude:-) But yes, how awesome it would be indeed if we could pray home half a dozen kids. Including one who eventually ends up in our home!

Happy Valentine's Day

 

 

from the wallaces!

one less

As of Friday afternoon, there is now one less orphan in the world! Our little boy in the DRC had an uncle and sister who were looking for him. And they found him. And while we are saddened by the news that this little one will not be a part of our family, we are rejoicing that today he is with his family. We firmly believe that the best place for a child to be is with his birth family in his birth country. (If they are able to care for him.)

We are saddened by this news but not altogether surprised. The orphanage where this little one was living is bad, even for the poorest country in the world. There have been three investigations in the last five years; including a current one. We have prayed daily that God would protect "G" and get him out of there. And He did.

As additional orphanage allegations came out in the past few weeks, I've said many times "It will be a miracle if we can get this little boy home." What I meant by that was our home. What God intended for him was a different home. But I believe our prayers were not unheard or unanswered. They were just answered by an all-knowing God who sees the finished picture when all I've got is a single puzzle piece.

I don't want to come across as holy and happy and fake - this is hard. Another setback in a nearly three year journey makes me want to gouge my eyes out with the nearest sharp object. As Matt Chandler said in his sermon two weeks ago - "If there were an easy button I'd be smacking that mug." I WANT easy.

But it is VERY CLEAR that God is trying to teach us something not easy. (Likely many things or we are just really slow and it is taking a few years.) But sometimes I just don't want to learn the lesson. I don't want to relate to and encourage people who have gone through marriage crap or cancer or more cancer or being told they are unfit to parent or... But God does. He has me here, right here, because this is where He wants me. Jesus says in John 15:16 "You did not choose Me, but I chose you. I appointed you that you should go out and produce fruit."

Friends, I would not have chosen "here" on my own. I would have chosen easy. I would not have chosen to produce fruit that relates well to suffering. But that is my fruit. And I would not trade it. I know that God has planted me here with design and purpose. I'm just not altogether sure what that design and purpose is quite yet.

Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families...

counting our blessings

This time of year is a little rough. March marks three years of being in the adoption process and last February my step mom was diagnosed with brain cancer, passing away18 days later. I've been really trying to focus on our blessings, particularly the blessings of the last three years. In somewhat chronological order, here are the biggies God has done for us:

Job security for William at the Seminary!
Amazing church plant and community!
Redeemed our marriage!
Gave us a great house in the most diverse neighborhood in our city!
Gave us an amazing baby girl!
Rocked our world with cancer! (blessing in disguise)
William traveled to Sudan for a second film!
Lindsy no longer working full time!
Cancer free!
Healthy girl!
Beach trip that we could never have afforded!
Fund raising efforts beyond what we imagined!
Referral of our sweet little boy!
New job for William at Southeast Christian Church as the Senior Editor of their new TV show!

He has always done the best for us but I'd be lying if I said I didn't agree with C.S. Lewis! The best has at times been painful but we are still looking ahead with joyful expectation. C'mon 2012.

Why I Cried My Mascara Off

Anytime I hear a sermon about adoption, or one where adoption is mentioned, or a story about adoption or sometimes just the word adoption - I get teary eyed. I'm not a crier or even an emotional person but mention the "A" word and I will probably tear up.

What happened Sunday night was not tearing up. It was floodgates exploding through my tear ducts.

Sunday was "Sanctity of Life" day which, to be honest, as someone who did not grow up in the church, I had never heard of before. The main point I left with is that "how I value the life in front of me that is hurting and in need says something about how I feel about the sanctity of life."

"Sanctity of Life" is not about a single issue. Not when it's about the hurting and need that is right in front of me. It's about lots of issues. And it effects us every day. I didn't make any decisions today that dealt with abortion, but I was short with a co-worker. I didn't make any decisions today that dealt directly with the poor, but I drove right past an elderly man riding his wheelchair down the street in the rain.

If I am supposed to be God's vessel in this fallen world for taking salvation to the lost, then those decisions do affect the sanctity of those lives. Inasmuch as I can be obedient in them. And they say something to the rest of the world about how I feel about life and the One who gives it.

"As God's people, we must respond to the soul's in front of us with Gospel love, grace, and truth."

The needs are immense, crippling even. But God has a plan. It is us, His people. There is no Plan B.
We. Are. It.

Reason #1 of why I cried my mascara off: We are so blessed to be a part of Antioch Church. Unbelievably blessed. I started crying literal tears of joy as these applications of the scripture (Job 10:8-12) came across the screen:

We need to learn what God's word says.
We need to learn the needs and opportunities.
Pray.
Advocate.
Adopt.

And when I heard our pastor say: "There is a great need and it demands something of us." and, when speaking of orphan statistics and adoption "We've got to be willing to take risks... We've got to figure out what this means for us." I wept. Blubbering, sobbing, mascara all over your face wept.

Because I needed to hear that. I needed affirmation. (Reason #2 that I cried my mascara off) As we learn more about our son's referral's son's life in the DRC and we read more books and learn more statistics and talk to more professionals - I've become downright discouraged. And scared. And I needed someone to remind me that it is hard and it will be hard but we must be willing to take risks. Not to be courageous or cute with our multi-colored family but because we believe that God is bigger than poverty and institutions and abuse and neglect and what experts and statistics have to say about adopting out of birth order.

I mean no disrespect, but the healing and redemptive power of the Gospel IS bigger than all of those things. And His word says to care for those who cannot care for themselves. To bring them justice and plead their cause.

But the weight of those things, of the needs, it is heavy. So during worship after the service, I sat in the pew, head on my knees and just cried at the weight of it all. (Reason #3 I cried my mascara off) It was like I could feel it. All the heaviness, the brokenness, the sin, inside my chest. The burden of 143 million orphans, 26,000 starving children, the poor, widows, disease, abuse, neglect...

I could feel it like this:

There is no insightful resolution to all of this. I just needed to get it out. All I can say in closing is: Here am I. Use me.

Fundraising For the Rest of Us: Part 1

If you've been following along for any length of time, you know that I'm not shy about talking adoption finances. (or much else really) Since we've completed our first few fundraisers now seems like a good time for a couple posts on the subject. My goal here is to give ideas and encourage others - It can be done! You can raise an astronomical amount of money that you never thought possible! (Even those of us who don't get anonymous $10,000 checks in our mailboxes.)

There are basically two routes you can take to raise funds for your adoption:
1. Fundraisers, Events, Etc.
2. Grants and Loans

This first post will address fundraisers, the funner (pun intended) method of raising money.

If you're looking for a good book on this topic check out Julie Gumm's "Adopt Without Debt". If you want to know my thoughts, read on!

Here's a list of fundraisers we've done/have in the works and the results:

• Yard Sales - The old standby. Everyone has junk that someone else wants. Some folks have lots of success with yard sales. We are not those folks. I've heard of people raising 3 grand or more. I like to shop at yard sales but not have them. We've had two and each raised between $300 - $400. If we had put more into it I'm sure we would've gotten more out but it's just not my thing.
  
  The second yard sale we had was a "Donations" sale meaning nothing was priced. We explained to people the purpose of the sale and then told them they could give us what they thought was fair. There were some interesting moral dilemma's going on that day. Some people did not like it at all. Others were curious. It would have made an interesting psychological research experiment. What I learned is this: white people are a cheaper bunch than most.
• Jewelry Parties - I think this is a great idea for anyone adopting from Africa. Of course you can adapt it and sell other items from the country/region you are adopting from as well. We were super blessed by a friend who purchased hundreds of pieces of rolled paper bead jewelry on a trip to Sudan. His intent was to use it to fund raise for his non-profit but that didn't pan out so he GAVE it to us.
  
  We also purchased additional and different style pieces from Outreach Uganda. They sell the jewelry to adopting families at a 40% discount and then you can sell it for however much you want. I've researched every possible jewelry vendor I could find and Outreach Uganda is by far the best. They have the best selection, price and quality. And I'm not getting anything to say that!
  
  In all we raised over $4,000 from the jewelry. It FAR exceeded our expectations. I think it was successful for us for a few reasons: timing, affordability, parties. We started selling the jewelry in September but had the majority of our parties in October and November when people were starting to purchase Christmas gifts. We priced our jewelry affordably so people could... afford it. We still made a big profit because most of it was donated to us. The parties were huge in scope because they allowed us to reach an audience outside our inner circle. We realized pretty early on that we would tap them out pretty quickly and this allowed them to support our adoption in a non-financial way.

• T-Shirts - This is not a new or unique idea. There are lots of organizations that have t-shirts (Show Hope, 147 Million Orphans just to name a couple) and will let you buy/sell them for your adoption but they are getting a cut of your money. We preferred to do the work ourselves, have a personal shirt and get the profit. William designed our shirts and we had them screen printed locally. Unfortunately I cannot recommend the company we used. We did take pre-orders for the shirts to get an idea of which colors and sizes would be most popular and to make sure our close family and friends got the size/color they wanted. We then ordered double (maybe triple?) the number that were pre-ordered. In all we ended up with 148 shirts. We still have a LOT of kids shirts left, they are not as popular.
  
  We had our design printed on American Apparel shirts because we didn't want to support a sweatshop that is using vulnerable kids to make their shirts that we would then turn around and sell to bring a vulnerable kid home... They are a couple dollars more per shirt but well worth it. We made about $1,000 from selling the shirts.
  
  We have realized since starting the t-shirt selling that only people who know you are going to buy your shirt (for the most part). Everyone has dozens of t-shirts in their closet already so it's not something unique that they will want to purchase, or an item that people are in need of - they are doing it because they love you and want your kid to come home. And they secretly want you to stop selling stuff and asking for money all the time.
  
  
• Christmas Ornaments - So in September, maybe even August, my good friend Rebekah asked if she could make some ornaments for us to sell at our first art show that was coming up. Her theory was this: she and her husband could donate $50 to our adoption fund or she could design an ornament, buy supplies with the $50 and turn some kind of profit thus getting more than $50 into our fund. I think I can safely say that she had NO IDEA what she was getting into. 
  
  First of all, she is super talented and the ornaments were amazing. We sold out of the 48 she made very quickly. The plan was for Rebekah to show me how to make them so we could continue the ornament selling through Christmas. At one point I emailed a friend who had a great ornament fundraiser a couple years ago to kinda complaining about not having the connections that they did, and people just aren't buying our ornaments online, wah, wah, wah.
  
  People, be careful what you ask for. Or, in my case, whine about.
  
  One Tuesday afternoon in mid-November I was in Bloomington visiting my sister. I checked my email before heading home and had received 4 or 5 Etsy orders in less than an hour. I told my sister how strange it was since it was more than we had in the last few months. She made a comment about Christmas coming soon and people starting to buy Christmas stuff... By the time I went to bed that night we had received over a dozen orders. I checked the next morning - over a dozen more. Crazy! I couldn't figure it out.
  
  I posted on Facebook about the Etsy shop ornament craziness and a couple friends commented that they saw the ornament on Pinterest. "Ya," I thought "But I pinned it to my board weeks ago. Of course you saw it." It wasn't until the following day, and over 50 orders later, that someone told me that no you idiot it was on the Pinterest HOMEPAGE. Oh! Hallelujah, God is sovereign over Pinterest! (Was there ever any doubt?)
  
  So the blur that was the end of November and all of December began. I made ornaments every waking minute. We had ornament making parties. I took ornament supplies to a bar so that I could have a drink with my pals and make ornaments at the same time. (That is not a joke, it really happened.) I overnighted ornaments on December 23rd. It was intense. We made well over 300 ornaments at $10 a pop. The supplies cost less than $2 per ornament and people paid their own shipping so we made around $3,000 from an idea from a sweet friend just trying to make the most she could with 50 bucks. God is so good.

• Parents Day Out - Some friends of ours did this for us and it was a great idea. They offered to watch our friends kids one Saturday afternoon for 3 hours so the parents could have a "day" out, or in our case, go Christmas shopping for a few hours. The parents donated money for the childcare that went into our adoption fund. This contributed close to $200 to bringing our little man home!

• Self Defense Seminar - This is just one example of how your friends and family can contribute without actually giving you money. Just like the ornament and parents day out ideas, people who want to support you can use their talents and ideas to multiply what they could give or do on their own. My dad teaches karate and woman's self defense. Next month, our church is going to host a woman's self defense seminar that my dad will teach for a suggested donation of $25. The great thing about other people utilizing their talents and ideas is that it usually requires very little of your time and mental energy. This is good. 

• Lifesong for Orphans Both Hands Project - The organization sponsoring this project is called the Both Hands Foundation and here’s how it works: we find a widow in need of home repairs. We assemble a team of our friends. Then the team (including us) will send letters out to family and friends asking for sponsors for the day of our project: when the team works on the widow’s home. All of the sponsorship funds go toward our adoption. (And are tax deductible)
  
  
  It’s just like asking someone to sponsor you for a 5K or a golf scramble.The idea has been replicated successfully over 100 times all around the country! Here is a link to a video that might help give you a better idea of what the Both Hands Project is all about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98PD-O97N3I
  
  
  We are planning our project for March of this year. Our prayer is that the project will raise the remaining $16,000-ish needed to bring our little man home. If you are reading this and we have not invited you to participate on our team and you're thinking "Wow, I'd really like to be on the Wallace Both Hands Team." let me know.
  
  
  So that's what we've done and plan on doing. Here are a few things I've heard of other people doing: Photo shoots by photographer friends (one day of shoots, 45 minutes each, money raised goes toward adoption fund), haircuts by stylist friends (same as photography idea), any other skill your friend has that can be "donated", raffle off adoption goodies, use your skills to raise some extra money like this family did. Gobena Coffee. 
  
  
  What did I miss? There are as many ideas as there are kids who need homes!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Referral Day!

Today marks a new chapter in this long book...

We. Have. A. Referral!

There's a 3 1/2 year old little boy in the Congo we are praying is ours! (and yes Moses is almost exactly 3 1/2:-)

I wish I could share his name and picture and what very little we know about him but we cannot until he is legally ours...

What I can share is that he is preciously adorable and we all love to stare at his picture!

Please pray that the investigation into his orphan status and collection of his legal documents (birth certificate, witness statements, etc) goes quickly and smoothly! Once that is complete our case will be filed for court. It could take 6-8 months for that to happen...

Pray, pray, pray!

Adoption Update September 2011

Time for an adoption update!

On August 2nd we had the Third Annual Wallace Home Study. Like I said in the August Martini, it's never comfortable when someone you barely know comes into your home, asks you a bunch of questions and evaluates your ability to parent, especially when you have two living breathing specimens on display. However, by the third time you're almost use to it. Almost. Also, we love our case worker and she's super easy to talk to. That helps. Our house was not nearly as clean as it was the first or second time that she came. It was clean enough.

On the 12th I picked up the final report and delivered it to the USCIS. They received it with 108 hours to spare! The "average" (a term that is really obsolete in the world of adoption) turn around time is 75 days. We have been praying that we would receive approval much quicker than that - AND WE DID. 20 days - booyah! Smooth and quick. Smooth and quick has been our prayer.

The Ethiopia program, which was once one of the most appealing international adoption programs because of the short time frame, relative affordability and ease of the process, has now become one of the more tumultuous international programs still open. Last month, a couple seeking to adopt from Ethiopia was denied by the government because the husband is a cancer survivor. Ethiopia has talked about enforcing stricter guidelines for the adoption of their children but they have made no policy before or after this ruling to do so. They. Just. Did. It.

This is obviously concerning to us.

We don't know any other details about this couple or what other factors regarding their case may have been influential in this decision. Our agency suggested that we take a proactive approach and mail a copy of our home study (which states that William is healthy enough to parent), and additional notarized letters from his doctors stating the same thing, to the government to be pre-approved, which we are doing and this new packet of paper should go to Ethiopia on Tuesday. Our agency is estimating that it will take three weeks for "pre-approval".

In the meantime, with our CIS approval, our dossier is now complete. Funny thing is we don't have the money! We spent it on t-shirts. Ha! We didn't expect CIS approval to come in so quickly. We are expecting our t-shirts any day and then we should be all good on the cash flow. Thanks to everyone who pre-ordered!

We are forging ahead with fundraising. In addition to the t-shirts, we are also selling some beautiful rolled paper jewelry hand made by women in Uganda. We will be at the Sojourn Affordable Art Show so stop by and buy a t-shirt and some jewelry!

If you'd like to host a jewelry party please let me know that too - we're gonna tap out our inner circle at some point and would love to tap out yours too:-)

We have two big prayer requests this time: (I use to be a bit shy about always being the family with prayer requests but God has healed me of that. Clearly.)

1. The government official would read all of the positive things William's doctors stated, have mercy on us and grant us pre-approval. Quickly.

2. We plan to submit our dossier if we do not hear from the government by the time we have the necessary funds. Some may say this is unwise or risky - if we receive a referral and travel to Ethiopia and are denied... well let's just say that will be a whole lotta money and even more heartbreak. BUT, here's the thing, God keeps leading us down this path. Every time we pray for smooth and quick, He delivers.

I feel like getting our CIS approval in the mail on Friday, in the midst of collecting all of this extra paperwork from William's doctors, is His way of saying "Lindsy trust me. I got this. I brought you here, keep walking down this path."

So please pray that we are listening for His voice and that we would remember we are not stepping into uncertainty, we are stepping into God's plan. And that is the best path to be on.

the devil lost Meadow's urine

Confession - there has been a LOT going on with our adoption that I haven't posted. The last time I did an update was in November. Nine months ago. Who knew so much and so little could happen in nine months?

In November, we were waiting for March, for William to be scanned and to get a clean bill of health. Praise God that happened.

In April, we were ready to get back on the adoption train when our home study agency alerted us to the fact that our CIS (Citizenship and Immigration Services) approval expired in August. The CIS has to approve American citizens to bring orphans into the US. It use to be part of the Department of Homeland Security until they got busy with other things...

When your CIS approval expires, you HAVE to re-do your home study. The one thing we had that had not expired was... our home study. Since CIS is very particular about when the paperwork they receive is dated, it didn't make sense to re-do our home study in April, because we would have had to re-do it again in June just to make them happy. Who do they think they are anyway?

So the new new plan was to begin home study paperwork in June and have our re-done home study in the mail to CIS in July.

Here's where things get really interesting. The first week of April, after we had learned all of this timing crap stuff, Meadow fell out of her highchair and hit the back of her head on the kitchen floor. She appeared to be ok, but our pediatrician said to take her to the ER just to be safe. So we did. They did a CT scan since she has no way of telling us how she feels and because that's kinda a long way to fall.

The CT scan showed no trauma from the fall. It did show "calcifications on the basil ganglia". If you google "basil ganglia brain calcifications", which I don't recommend that you do, you will get a seemingly never ending list of conditions, diseases and disorders all of which list brain calcifications as a symptom.

If you have been following along closely, you know that just a couple weeks prior to this on our crazy-does-this-really-happen-to-people timeline, my step-mom passed away from brain cancer. SO, when the ER nurse gave me this info I must have turned white, based on the look of fear in her eyes. She asked me if I was ok, I think I nodded, and asked if we could leave.

I called William. And I cried.

Our pediatrician called me the next morning. His exact words were "I'm looking at this CT scan, and it is not normal, and I have a perfectly healthy developmentally 'normal' child and the two don't add up. Sometimes technology gives us more information than we know what to do with and this is probably one of those times. I can't tell you 100% that these are benign so let's send you to someone who can." Love him, by the way.

He referred us to a pediatric neurologist. There was an almost three month wait to get in. That was hard, and even though we had a peace that was certainly from God, I'd be lying if I said we didn't hug her a little tighter and kiss her a few more times at bed than we had before. It's pretty scary for someone to tell you that your kids brain isn't normal and then to have to wait three months to figure out what that means.

So the end of June FINALLY rolled around and we went to Riley Children's Hospital for our appointment. The reason that this is part of our adoption story is because before our home study agency would re-do our report, we had to know that either a.)Meadow was healthy or b.)Meadow has such and such condition and we are capable of caring for her and an additional child. I'm still unclear if they just want to know or if CIS actually requires that information...

Anyway, the appointment went well. The neurologist did a neurological exam, which for a 15 month old basically consists of squeaking a bunch of toys in her face to see how she responds. The doctor explained that it was likely an insignificant finding but since we have knowledge of it we should investigate further. They drew about 10 viles of blood and Meadow had to pee into a bag that they taped you know where. The whole experience was pretty positive considering. They told us it could take 6-8 weeks to get all of the results back because the conditions they were testing her for are super rare, so few labs have experience with them, yada, yada. The doctor also ordered an MRI to see exactly what these brain things look like.

At this point, we were still feeling good about Meadow's health. Had she not taken a fall, we would never had been concerned about her. But there was this lurking thought in the back of my mind that, what if, we would end up praising God for the fact that she did fall because we found out about some crazy rare condition and caught it early... William helped me control those thoughts though and kept me on track.

The time frame of the tests was a little too close to our CIS expiration than we would have liked, but everything would have come in in time. If. They. Hadn't. Lost. Her. Urine.

"How do you loose urine?", one might ask. Good question - I have a theory but I won't share it here. The problem, is that I didn't find out that the urine was lost until just a couple weeks ago. Meadow's blood work trickled back in and all results were negative. We tried to get out of the MRI. Twice. But the doctor insisted that it was necessary. (another story for another day)

When the blood results came in, I let the nurse know that I needed a letter, from the doctor, for our adoption, saying she's healthy, etc. (No one ever gets this, by the way. If you are going to adopt be prepared for people to look at you like you have a third eye when you request stuff like this. They actually asked me if we were adopting Meadow and had to prove that she was healthy before "they" would let us. Uh, not exactly.)

So, when I requested the letter, the nurse relayed the message that the doctor wouldn't write the letter until the genetic (aka urine) results were in and until we agreed to an MRI. This lead to a conversation that ended with the realization that the urine had been lost. At this point, I lost it on the nurse because this is the test that takes 6-8 weeks. She thought I was crazy, and loosing it over lost urine, which frankly, loosing it over lost urine would be ok in my book.

I explained, in the nicest way that I could at that moment, that we did not have 6-8 weeks because of a lot of things that she didn't understand related to our adoption (and that no we are not adopting Meadow) and that it would cost us $800 if we didn't have that letter by the beginning of August. (If you miss the CIS extension deadline you have to re-apply, and re-pay.)

The conversation ended with me offering to drive Meadow back to Indianapolis the following day to deliver more urine and her offering to contact the manager of the lab to "plead our case". I think she knew better than to put me in touch with the lab manager. I was the crazy adopting urine mom.

Meadow cooperated and delivered the urine and the lab manager sent the message that it would take a minimum of 2-3 weeks. We started praying. And asking almost everyone else to join us.

Our prayer request consisted of: A clean MRI scan. We know enough about scans and doctors to know that even if these funky brain things did turn out to be "clinically insignificant", the doctor would still want to scan Meadow annually until they did something or disappeared. So, we prayed that they would be GONE. We wanted this whole thing to be over and we wanted God to get all the glory. The only explanation would be that He answered our prayer. So we prayed like we believed that He would.

We also prayed for negative and miraculously quick genetic test results. And I prayed, in the middle of the night when no one else was listening, for signs. Signs that we are on the right path, that we didn't misinterpret His call to adopt. I prayed that he would make our adoption journey from this point on smooth and fast.

I'm so thankful that he answered my prayer for signs. It seems like a silly, unfaithful thing to pray for, but I needed them. After 2 1/2 years, a girl needs some reassurance. And he delivered. Three times, after spending time alone in prayer, requesting "signs", I got them within 24 hours. A couple times through sermons, one at our church on how we as believers are "family", one from a sermon podcast about obeying God's word and once today, when I was told that Meadow's genetic screen results are expected by the end of the week.

I'm thankful for those signs. But the truth is, when I peel away all of the trials and setbacks, I know we are on the right path. I know He set it for us. But I realized, a couple weeks ago, amidst all of this urine business, that the devil doesn't want us to adopt. He hates adoption. He hates it the same way that he hates marriage. He hates marriage because it is a visible symbol to the world of Jesus and his church. And he hates adoption because it is a visible symbol to the world of God's love for, and adoption of, us. Our family will be a sign of worldly adoption and heavenly adoption. The devil lost Meadow's urine.

I love it when God answers prayer. Seriously. LOVE IT. It's even better when there is no logical human explanation for things going the way that they did. It can only be a God thing. And that was the case today. This morning I got a call from the nurse. (I think she has forgiven me for loosing it over the lost urine) Meadow's MRI was clear and the calcifications are GONE. THEY. ARE. GONE!!!

I called William. I cried. I thanked God. And I danced.

If adoption were a board game, we'd still be on the same square we were on in November. So much and so little can happen in nine months.