a chat over coffee

Photo courtesy of Sunergos Coffee.

Let's say you and I meet up for coffee. It's a rainy not-quite-spring day and we pull our chairs close so we can cozy up to our mugs. The steamy decaf latte aroma slithers right up to my nose.

We rushed to get here and sitting down into comfy chairs feels like sinking into a gentle wave. Ahhh.

Peace. And conversation.

You ask me how things are going.  I nod as I take a sip and tell you things are good. We have had a few weeks of "normal" behavior and it is refreshing. It's funny, how God works, I say. I started praying several weeks ago for MY attitude to change. For MY response to the behavior to change. I prayed for God to give me patience and compassion and He did. And then the behavior improved and I am SO grateful for His grace and answered prayer. I know we will ebb and flow, that boy and I, but God has been gracious to give me compassion for him.

God is teaching me so much about his unconditional love for me through this boy I tell you. I never imagined the lessons He had in store for us. It's almost been one year. Wow you say. It doesn't seem that long. I nod in agreement.

Then you ask me about Glory and my eyes glance away. It's easier to shift my focus than be in the moment where He has me. Then I tell you the facts - her birth certificate has been filed for, in a couple weeks we should have the judgement and then we will enter into the first 30 day waiting period.

You mention the pictures. Yes, I say, we received four photos of her last week. I pull out my phone and hand it to you. She is so adorable you say and I nod and take another sip. It's hard I tell you, because she is growing but getting thinner. Yeah, that must be hard you say. And it is, but I don't share anymore because I can't quite wrap my mind around my baby being half way around the world and not knowing what and how often she is getting nourishment for her little body. Then I blurt out it was different with the boys; they were older. They could tolerate hunger. A 10 month old? I worry about her I tell you.

And then I shift a little in my chair, take a sip of my latte and meet my eyes with yours. What about you I ask. How are you doing?

/////This is the interactive portion of our program. I'd love to get to know some of YOU better. Please feel freedom to play along./////

He Provides: The Casper Family

Our final family in the He Provides series is the Caspers. 

I have recently gotten to know Lauren and 

am so grateful for her fresh and honest look at the life God has given her to live. 

You can follow their story at Traded Dreams.

If someone had told me four years ago that we would need to raise more than $60,000 in less than three years time ... from scratch... as a single income ministry family... while my husband was in grad school... I would have laughed.

If someone told me that I would fly to Africa four times in less than three years... I would cross the Atlantic Ocean eight times... I would have hyperventilated, crawled in bed, and pulled the covers over my head until it was all over.

That's such a big number and it seems so unattainable. Flying is so scary to me and I hadn't stepped foot on a plane in years. But I learned a valuable lesson in the last few years. When God is in it -- when he's writing the story -- he will provide.

We started our first adoption process in the fall of 2009. We had enough in our savings to make the first payment that came with signing on with an agency and after that we had to rely on fundraising. I had plans, though, and while I was a bit overwhelmed I wasn't worried.

I knew the money would come through if I just worked hard enough. I had mapped out each payment and the cost of travel. I had figured it all out and as long as I could keep our fundraisers on track it would all go as planned. Except that in adoption nothing goes as planned.

 In March 2010 we received a phone call from our adoption agency. Ethiopia changed their laws regarding travel and adopting families. We were now required to make two trips instead of one. This added another $5,000 at least to the adoption fees. I was so discouraged and there were many well meaning people in our lives who urged us to back out now. But we couldn't do that. We knew our son was waiting for us there and we told ourselves that in the grand scheme of things $5,000 was nothing. Another trip. Another flight. Another transatlantic flight. I constantly reminded myself of the reason I was doing this.

Then October 2010 came and the phone call that changed our world. A little face appeared on our computer screen and we "met" the little boy we'd already grown to love so deeply. Suddenly I knew it wouldn't matter if we had to make six trips to Ethiopia -- we'd find a way. A peace came over me that God loved this little boy far more than I did (as hard as that is to imagine) and he would get Mareto home to us. And he did. The body of Christ came together in such a beautiful way. God blessed our fundraisers and people felt led to give so generously to our adoption funds. Two weeks before we boarded our first flight to Ethiopia in January of 2011 we were fully funded. If I had things my way we would have had our funds all together months in advance -- but God provided so perfectly in his timing. I feel like I got to witness so many miracles as people gave of their time, services, talents, and finances to bring our little guy home.

And when it came time to board that plane God once again provided. I was scared to death and my palms were sweating like crazy - but I put one foot in front of the other and by God's grace I made that trip over the Atlantic. And then the next one over to Africa. And then the two flights back home. And then the two flights back to my boy. And the the two flights to bring him home forever.

God provided grace, strength, and peace every time. Just in time. So when it came time to start all over again in the winter of 2011/2012 we had a confidence and peace and a view that we hadn't had the first time. Once again we got to watch miracles unfold as all the funds came together to bring our daughter home in less than a year. Ten flights later I carried her through our front door and marveled at the goodness of God.

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

He Provides: The Elder Family

Today's story comes from Wynne Elder. You know when you "meet" (IRL or online:-) someone and everything they say and write you think to yourself "Yes!"? That's how I feel about Wynne. You can follow her at her beautiful blog Gloriously Ruined.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever." Psalm 136:1

He provides.

Some might have thought we were crazy to be raising money two summers ago not only for our international adoption but also for me & my husband to go on a mission trip to our future children's country: Ethiopia. But, God provides. It has been a faith and trust journey on this road with Him, but He has always proved faithful. 

I could tell you story after story of God providing the money or prayer we needed at just the right moment over the past 2 years. I think one of the biggest lessons I learned was not in receiving, but in giving. We will call this : the garage sale story. 

The story goes that one of our first big fundraisers for our adoption was a community garage sale. Now, I'm talking our whole community group from church + numerous other friends pitched in garage sale items, baked goods, their time and effort in working the sale/setting up, and even set up a lemonade stand. This was not your ordinary garage sale- a two day event that took weeks to prepare for. The goal: somewhere around $3500 for our next big fee to our agency.

About a week or so before the garage sale, God put a good friend of mine and her family on my heart. I knew they were struggling financially and He told me that whatever we made on the garage sale, we needed to give them 20%.

Now, I did not tell anyone this (not even my hubby) because I think a part of me thought if I didn't tell anyone, I wouldn't be held accountable for it. The garage sale came + went and we made well OVER the amount we needed at that moment. With giving away the 20% we had exactly what we needed for that next payment. mind you, there were lots more payments coming.

After a week or two I really felt the Holy Spirit nudge me. Basically what I felt he was saying was- Wynne, by you hoarding this money you are saying you don't trust me. you don't trust that next time YOU need the money, I will provide.

So as scary as it was, we were obedient to the Lord and gave what He asked. Because of that obedience, my friend was able to buy diapers for her babies that night. The day she got the check, their bank account was negative again.

WOW Lord! He used us! He wanted to show us that HE WAS and WILL BE FAITHFUL to provide what we need exactly WHEN we need it.

I was telling this story to a friend recently and was reminded of Gods faithfulness yet again- over the next 2 years, He was faithful to provide EVERYTHING we needed. The week we switched agencies was our week on Give1Save1 (which seemed random if we weren't switching to accept a waiting child) and we got the $ we needed to switch.

The Lord also used another family to be obedient to his leading and bless US tremendously. There were many times I found money + checks in my mailbox, people I didn't know donating dollars to our paypal and the list goes on.

Raising funds and awareness for adoption was not easy. But God was faithful every. single. time to provide for us. Not just in money, but in prayers.

The weeks leading up to us clearing embassy in Ethiopia were certainly uncertain. There were days we thought we wouldn't be able to bring our daughter, Asher, home. But God provided once again and some friends of ours felt led to start a prayer chain. They did a 24 hour prayer for over two weeks. TWENTY FOUR hours! That means there were people getting up in the middle of the night to pray for our family. And God heard their prayers!

I was reading in Psalm 145 the other day [one of my faves] and came across something new: vs 7 says "they shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness!" That's what I want - to POUR FORTH the fame of gods goodness. to speak of it. to write it down. to remember it on the days that aren't so cheery. the days that I feel alone. I want to always remember that with God it will always be provided.

Will you trust Him? 

He Provides: The Henderson Family

Today's story comes from dear friends of ours who lapped us, not once, but twice in this adoption journey. They have an amazing family and I'm excited to share their story with you today! 

Enjoy!

I am really glad Lindsy asked me to write about this particular topic.  You see, provision (both financial and having a “normal” family) is the main hold up for men who are considering adoption.  I speak to men all the time who say, “I’d love to adopt but…”   

If I am being honest, men are programmed both in church (and this is a major sin in the US church) and out of church that we HAVE to possess all the financial answers for our family both now and the next 50 years.  Why do we neglect all the examples in Scripture of God simply providing for us?  Why do we forget all the times He has shown up in our lives or in the lives of others around us?  

I hope this post can challenge some misconceptions we (especially men) seem to carry around as burdens.  I simply want to tell our story about how God weaved Himself into it and provided especially when I did not deserve it.

“A means to an end.”  

That is how I viewed adoption in the fall of 2009 as Natalie and I were battling through 18 months of infertility.  We desperately wanted to be parents.   How foolish of me to have gone through 30 years of life and not see the obvious inseparable tie between the Gospel and adoption.  I mean it is NOT hidden deep in Scripture like some code from a Dan Brown book.  We see many references to it in black and white and simply gloss over them because they are contrary to the way the western church lives.  Because He is much smarter than I, God used our infertility to completely transform my life. 

When we decided to adopt, Natalie was still in medical school (racking up large amounts of debt without collecting a paycheck) and I had an entry-level sales job.  We were in no position to pay for an adoption.  Thankfully, I had wise people around me encouraging us to take the first step.  It was a life-changing decision. 

Soon after we sent our application into our agency, we were visiting with our close friends, Jason and Emily Fox (he married us and she was the maid-of-honor at our wedding).  During our conversation, I blurted out, “Hey guys.  How in the world are we going to pay for this?”  In a stroke of genius, Emily suggested we paint ornaments with an Ethiopian theme and sell them.  If you have met Natalie and I, you know that neither of us would be called artistic.  We did not have a better idea at the time and so we painted a prototype of the ornament and posted it on our blog and on Facebook.  By the end of the next day, we had orders for over 250 ornaments.  When all was said and done, we sold over 650 ornaments in those six weeks.  My wrist hurts thinking about painting all those ornaments.

Near Christmas, a friend I had not spoken to for several years contacted me.  They saw on Facebook about our adoption and the ornaments.  They asked if we could meet.  It was great to catch up with this good friend and I was leaving, they handed me an envelope and said, “This stays between us.”  I agreed and walked to the car.  I opened it when safely in the car and discovered a $5,000 check!  I remember sitting in my car, crying (which I never did before having children), begging God to forgive me of the doubt which permeated the lens in which I viewed the entire world and my relationship with Him.  I thanked Him for choosing to bless me and be patient in teaching me that He provides. 

I made a vow shortly after this that I would never doubt God and His provision for us.  People around me have no doubt heard me say, “God funds what He favors” and it is true.  Hear me out though.  I am not perfect in this.  I raise money professionally and I have seasons of doubt even though God continues to provide.  Doubt is a beast that is hard to fight back when it rears its ugly head.    

Of the $25,000 it took to bring Tedi home, Natalie and I contributed approximately $2,000 (which was about all we had at the time).  To sit back and reflect on the way our community and friends rallied around us to redeem our son is so humbling.  It still gives me goose bumps when I relive this and remember each person who gave freely.

When we decided to adopt again, I told Natalie two things: 1) We would NEVER question if God would provide and 2) We needed to carry more of the burden financially.  I made the decision to cash out an IRA (much to the chagrin of Dave Ramsey and our financial adviser) and we contributed over $5,000 to bring Chernet home.   

We were again blessed by many of the same people.  I contend that I have been blessed with the best friends anyone could have.  Not one person close to us ever questioned why we were adopting or why we needed help financially.  Our friends, family, church family simply filled the gap for us.     

In closing, I hope that you see a few themes in our story that are applicable to all of us going down this road:

1)    God is right there with us even in our doubting and times of soul searching.  He taught this to me during the darkness of infertility.  I am probably the only guy in the world who actually thanks God for infertility.  

2)      The adoption process, while taxing and extremely difficult, is a time of recalibration and God drawing you closer to Him.  Embrace the tension that resides there.

3)     God will use your closest friends, family members, not-so-close friends, and complete strangers to bless your adoption.  Be OK with that blessing.  Accept it.  Repay it. 

~JT Henderson

http://5millionminus1.blogspot.com

www.avechurch.com

Twitter: @jthenderson76

JT is a Friend, Servant, Connector, Pastor, married to a woman I don’t deserve.  Adoptive Dad.  Adopted by God.  Described by ABC News as the “Mouthpiece of Middle America.”

The Influence Network (Link Up!)

I'm interrupting the "He Provides" series to participate in A Meetup of Influential Women: members of The Influence Network!

Since joining last month, I have been so blessed by The Influence Network. I want my presence in this online space to have eternal purpose. I want people to read our story and my words and be pointed to the One who wrote them. The Influence Network has given me encouragement and inspiration to hold fast to my desire for this space.

And, I'm a rule follower SO, three things about me:

1. Yes, my hair is naturally curly. Ain't nobody got time for that.
2. I don't drink coffee. Except once a year when we drive 12 straight overnight hours to vacation.
3. Mostly, I just want people to love Jesus and orphans.

And, I love this picture of myself because this is how I roll. I can usually be found under a pile of preschoolers and it's a dream come true.

Thanks for visiting ladies! I can't wait to see your faces and learn more about YOU!