Today's post comes from Natalie at little things + big stuff.
I love Natalie's blog because of #1. it's beautifully refreshing design and
#2. she writes wondferully honest posts about her experience as a foster care worker.
Please enjoy her words below!
I never wanted to work in the foster care system. It seemed scary and bureaucratic, and I was homed in on international adoption work. But now, after a couple years in the world of foster care, it seems to be a part of my life that I don’t ever want to go away. It’s brought me joy.
I've spent time in foster care case management, and more recently and more extensively — foster care adoptions. It's been the perfect mix of experiences. I've gotten to come in at the end of a child's time in foster care. It's usually a cause for celebration, though not without loss, of course. But then there are the ones whose happy endings are yet to come. I've worked to gather reports, focus on strengths, and schedule photo shoots to list "hard-to-place" kids on adoption recruitment sites like Adopt US Kids.
I've doubted my ability to tout the strengths of a child while still being honest about his or her challenges. When I look at a child's profile, I focus on their uniqueness and abilities.
Micah has huge dimples, eats hot wings all the time, races his bike down the sidewalk, and prefers to be called "Spiderman." But Micah has also experienced too many moves among foster homes and too many trips to the psychologist as his foster parent and case worker attempted to sort out his mental health diagnoses. What do families see when they see his profile? I hope they see how they can be a family who meets Micah’s needs while celebrating his strengths.
Through my work, I’ve also been able to witness situations and adoptions worthy of the utmost celebration. Some scoff at the preference relatives are given in fostering and adopting kids to whom they’re related, and let’s be honest — I did early on, too. One relative lived in a neighborhood where kids seemed to spill out of the front doors of homes. When I came to her house, her blinds were drawn, and she yelled out to ask who I was before disabling the alarm system. I sensed she was scared to live in her own neighborhood. But her house was spotless. And the two little relatives she was to adopt were always clean and happy.
My home study for her was harder to write than some. Jennifer committed a violent crime against another person about 10 years ago (though she reports it was done in self defense). She’s unemployed, she has only a GED, she has some health issues, and she receives a lot of public assistance. But she is absolutely fit to adopt and parent these children. She stepped up when other family members didn’t. The kids respect and obey her better than most I’ve seen. She made plans to move to a safer neighborhood. She went back to college soon after to expand her employment opportunities. This adoption is worth celebrating.
And that’s what I’ve found to be true of them all. Each situation is worth celebrating. Though Micah’s happy ending hasn’t come yet, he has a foster parent who absolutely loves him and is committed to keeping him in her home until we find the right family for his needs. Then, there’s the teenage girl who has been adopted previously and finds the perfect family in a single woman who chose to not be afraid of her past behaviors. Or the sibling group of five who were each allowed to each choose their own new name upon adoption.
Yes, there’s a lot of yuckyness in foster care, but I’m celebrating still.
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