waiting: month one (take two)

Well, it's that time again. We've had our referral for one whole month!

We are excited to be at this point in our long journey. After 3 years, 3 months and 22 days (Just kidding. About the 22 days part. I'm not that insane.) we are at a point we have never reached before.

On May 31st, we received word that our agency filed the request for the Consent to Adopt our little guy! This is the first in at least five baby steps that need to take place PRIOR to traveling to bring him home.

Forward movement is good people. 

It seems like a non-event to be at a point you have never been at before. I mean, isn't that sort of the definition of a journey?

Not if you are a Wallace.

I re-read my first "waiting: month one" post and just have to share a portion of it with you.

To briefly re-cap, Ethiopia deemed us unfit to parent just one month earlier. I was still in self-protection mode and really struggling with that picture hanging on my fridge, on all of our friends fridges, on the bathroom mirror, in the kids room...

I have spent the last month trying to control my life and ignore my fears. I’ve kept myself busy by making ornaments and managing our Etsy shop. I haven’t taken the truth about how I feel to God. The truth that I am scared to fall in love with the little boy in the picture because I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t want to live through another “what if” coming true.

So am I protecting myself? Yes. But not in a healthy way. And I’m not honestly even sure that it’s good advice. Or possible.

The little boy in that picture deserves to be loved so much that it hurts. And, just like a women with an ultrasound picture hanging on her fridge, while a “what if” might come true and I may never hold him in my arms, God put him in my life right now to be mine in this way.

I can intercede on his behalf in a way that no one was able to do before. And that kind of protection, from the Ultimate Protector, is infinitely better than my selfish ambition of keeping myself from being hurt and controlling what happens to him in my own strength. Only God can protect the little boy on our fridge, only God can give me the strength to make it through the “what if’s” that come true and only He could have adopted someone as selfish as me into his family.

I’m SO thankful for the picture of adoption the gospel provides for us, for His power over the tragedies that make adoption necessary and the grace and protection He freely gives to us as his children.

Wow. 

These words give me goosebumps knowing now the way this story unfolded. 


I fully believe we prayed that little boy home.

God used us and our friends with those pictures on the fridges to intercede for little "G" in a way that no one was before. 

He was absolutely in control of that situation. 
We were in the center of His will. 
And one of my "what if" fears came true. 
But, the "what if" that was His will, was even better than the "happily ever after" I had planned.

It was a tough lesson but one I am so grateful for.

Will you join us praying home our new little "J"? 
(If you could please specificy our home, my heart will thank you.)

PS. Don't forget to check out the Etsy Shop giveaway. It ends this Sunday!