*I'm not being vague to be mysterious, only in an effort to protect the grief our family is experiencing. I do plan on sharing the details surrounding our situation and the decision we made. We just need to process them first.
I could almost write this same post again. Almost. The difference is ten months ago, when we lost our first referral, we were confident in our next steps. I was content with being "here".
I have to be honest, I'm feeling far from confident and content most days.
The end result of both referrals and situations are the same - our little boy is not ours. We prayed for God to bring him home and He did. Moise is back with his family.
The difference is where I get vague. With "G", we knew there was a chance he would not come home to us.
Moise? We thought he was ours.
We had an abandonment decree. (Hint: he was not abandoned.) We chose his birthday. We were expecting to pass court before the end of the year.
We told the kids he was their brother. We put his sweet little face on our Christmas card.
Those things are hard.
Do you know what is harder? Being his birth mother.
One thing I am confident of - God brought her and I together. It is no coincidence that I have a four year old little boy named Moses and she has a four year old little boy named Moses.
I'm not clear on the "why". I am rarely clear on the "why" these days. This journey has been full of "why?"
We're praying HARD about what to do next. We know it is our responsibility to do something. We have to do something.
When Jesus was tested by the Pharisees about the greatest commandment, he replied "You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
"Love signifies a concrete responsibility to seek the greatest good of one's neighbors." <---ESV Study Bible:-)
We have a concrete responsibility to seek their greatest good.
Today, 12-12-12, will you pray first for them? Moise, his mother and his four siblings? They live in one of the hardest places on the planet.
Will you pray for us? We desperately want to love this family as well as we love our own.
This is hard. I don't think there are words for situations like this, feelings like these. All I can offer are love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're trusting that God is in charge here, even if you don't understand the whys.
Completely agree with Justy. And simply add that God is using you to model grace and love to SO many. --Lindsay S.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and prayers your way. We don't always get to know the "why" of life, but you are seeking God and his will which is a sweet offering to him in your pain.
ReplyDelete“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs."
Wow! So hard. I will definitely be praying for your family and Moise's. Praying that your eyes will be lifted up to the God who is Sovereign over all things.
ReplyDelete