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Thursday, January 3, 2013

It's a Girl!

Before bed each night we pray with our kids. Moses always wants to pray he doesn't have bad dreams. Meadow usually wants to pray for her babies or her Mimi. T wants to know what we are doing tomorrow and is then thankful for whatever that is. M always has a long list of people, animals and superheros.

One evening in October Meadow surprised us all when she requested we pray for her baby sister. I promptly explained she did not have a baby sister. There are boys as far as we can see - no sister in sight.

But she persisted.

Every night for almost a week she wanted to pray for her baby sister. Nothing we said could convince her otherwise. (Yes, we tried to talk our kid out of praying for something. We made Jesus proud.) William and I grew a little more freaked out each night and he made the next available appointment for the big snip surgery. For real.

What's In A Name?

The first referral we received from the DRC was a little boy name Gradi. Gradi is about 4 or 5 years old and we planned to give him the name Malachi - first or middle - it would have been his choice. Gradi went home to live with his uncle in February and the name Malachi came off our future-Wallace-babes-list.

In March when we met the mother of our foster boys (prior to meeting them), she pulled two photos out of her purse - one of each of them - and told us their names. Guess what M's name is?!?! We got our Malachi. (For the time being anyway:-)

Then there is the story of the two Moses'. I still find it no coincidence that I have a four year old little boy named Moses and there is another woman with a four year old little boy named Moise on the other side of the planet. For some reason he and his mother were brought into our lives and we're still trying to figure out what that reason is.

After we lost our referral for Moise, we decided to take a break from international adoption. We were, and still are, tired.

Shortly after determining we needed a break a few folks contacted me suggesting certain agencies or waiting child lists. I kindly blew them off.

All but one.

One email from a stranger included information about a waiting baby girl, and I almost hit delete, but then I saw her name. Glory.





Do you see that list up there?! That name, dead center?!


Glory is the name we had chosen for our next little girl.

Oh. S%*#.

I responded with my schpeel.  We have been in the process for almost four years, lost two referrals this year, we are tired, yada-yada-yada.

But. I. couldn't. get. Glory. out. of. my. mind.

I decided to do what is anti my personality. To not pursue her. Instead, I prayed. Specifically I prayed if Glory is ours, the nice stranger woman would email ME. Not the other way around.

I thought surely she would be gone. Who has healthy waiting baby girls? Surely someone would step forward for her, right?

Nine days later, the nice stranger woman sent me a message. Glory was still waiting.

I went to William, explained my prayer and that it had been answered. We decided to pray some more.

Pursuing Glory would mean starting over financially. From the beginning. The very beginning. Like $20,000 ago.

In order to get to the point of accepting Glory as our referral, we would need $11,000. So we prayed for God to give us a financial sign.

A few days later I finally had a chance to sit down and add up our Show Hope grant, Lifesong Foundation account (from our Both Hands project) and our savings. To our surprise it came to $10,885. Pretty close to $11,000 right?

Then, as we were getting ready for bed I emptied my pockets to find two checks from friends who had come over that day to purchase last minute Christmas gifts.

$11,000.

And that, my friends, is a sign. Confirmation to pursue this little girl we never even would have considered.

I am breaking down and doing what I've told other people to do a dozen times - adding a "Donate" button to our blog and one of those hideous thermometer thingis. We've got a lot of money to raise people and not much time to do it. (Glory should be home in about SIX months!)

Feel free to drop a few dollars in the pot. We've also got some new-to-us fundraisers coming up. Tomorrow we'll reveal a unique fundraiser my husband is STOKED about!

Waiting for Glory,

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Dying to Myself - My Resolution For 2013


 I'm all for resolutions. Starting fresh. New beginnings. Strategic plans. I love it.

As I began thinking ahead to 2013 and the things in my life I want to be different, I kept circling back to the same theme - dying to myself.

I know, that sounds kinda morbid but follow me here.

I do want to:


  • read my bible more
  • pray more
  • serve my husband
  • be a more patient mother
  • exercise (at all)
  • eat better
  • and a long list of other things!

But first, I must die to myself. In order to truly do any of those things well, I must put aside my selfish desires and guilty pleasures. I can't put my husband ahead of myself if I always want to be right. I can't show my kids the love of Jesus when I am grumbling at them.

I want to give of me until it hurts. My heart. My finances. My patience. My time. Myself. I want to give it all away to the glory of God because I think it will get me closer to Jesus.

I want more of Jesus and less of me.

Jesus came to die but first he served. He healed. He broke bread. He partied. He wept. He laid down his life for you and for me and I think if we are to truly know Him then we too must lay down our lives for the sake of others.

For our husbands, wives, kids, family, friends, neighbors, orphans, widows and the poor.

Laying down your life is really giving it away. It's saying "Here I am Lord. Use me."

So my word for 2013? Dying. Dying so that I may truly live.

What's your word for 2013?


Friday, December 21, 2012

Family is... (I Like Adoption video)

This video has been floating around Facebook for the last week or so. If you've already seen it you can thank me for giving you another opportunity. If you haven't seen it yet you are in for a treat! This sweet family is inspiring.

Tonight, during this season of Advent, join me in praying for the millions of kids around the world who do not know the safety, security and love of a family and for families who have lost their children much too soon.

Come Lord Jesus.



Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Congo 2012 (One last time.)

*I'm not being vague to be mysterious, only in an effort to protect the grief our family is experiencing. I do plan on sharing the details surrounding our situation and the decision we made. We just need to process them first.

I could almost write this same post again. Almost. The difference is ten months ago, when we lost our first referral, we were confident in our next steps. I was content with being "here".

I have to be honest, I'm feeling far from confident and content most days.

The end result of both referrals and situations are the same - our little boy is not ours. We prayed for God to bring him home and He did. Moise is back with his family.

The difference is where I get vague. With "G", we knew there was a chance he would not come home to us.

Moise? We thought he was ours. 

We had an abandonment decree. (Hint: he was not abandoned.) We chose his birthday. We were expecting to pass court before the end of the year.

We told the kids he was their brother. We put his sweet little face on our Christmas card.

Those things are hard.

Do you know what is harder? Being his birth mother. 

One thing I am confident of - God brought her and I together. It is no coincidence that I have a four year old little boy named Moses and she has a four year old little boy named Moses.

I'm not clear on the "why". I am rarely clear on the "why" these days. This journey has been full of "why?"

We're praying HARD about what to do next. We know it is our responsibility to do something. We have to do something. 

When Jesus was tested by the Pharisees about the greatest commandment, he replied "You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

"Love signifies a concrete responsibility to seek the greatest good of one's neighbors." <---ESV Study Bible:-)

We have a concrete responsibility to seek their greatest good. 

Today, 12-12-12, will you pray first for them? Moise, his mother and his four siblings? They live in one of the hardest places on the planet.

Will you pray for us? We desperately want to love this family as well as we love our own.


Friday, December 7, 2012

Waiting: Month 7 (The wait is over. For now.)

We will not be adopting Moise. 

I have pounded the pavement, argued with God and had a good cry. I'm still not sure what is next. Or why what happened has happened to us.  

There are a lot of details surrounding this situation and we are still processing everything. 

For now, we are going to step away from international adoption. We are tired. Four years is a long time to be living this roller coaster and we need a break. 

Please pray for peace and clarity. We have two decisions to make: what is next for our family and what to do with our knowledge of the plight of children in Africa and all over the world.